


ubiquitous tension

by FinnParker



Series: Crazy in love [1]
Category: Sanditon (TV 2019), Sanditon - Jane Austen
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Clubbing, Dancing, Desire, Dirty Talk, F/M, Falling In Love, Love, Sex, Sexual Tension, Sexy, Sexy Times, Shameless Smut, Sidlotte - Freeform, Slow Dancing, Smut, Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:40:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 27,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25729837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FinnParker/pseuds/FinnParker
Summary: Sidney joins Babington in his club and has an experience he didn't expect...
Relationships: Charlotte Heywood & Sidney Parker, Charlotte Heywood/Sidney Parker
Series: Crazy in love [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1920841
Comments: 170
Kudos: 225





	1. In the club

**Author's Note:**

> As promised here a bit sexytime with Sidlotte, in modern times...
> 
> Hope you like it and have some fun!

The heavy beat of the music vibrated in my body and I didn't want to be here, but what do you do for your best friend? His heart was broken and he just wanted to get drunk and maybe have thoughtless sex with some woman he wanted to pick up in his club. All right. Although I was totally annoyed by the all-smooth, and flawless women in their tight tube dresses and high heels. They were all standing on the dance floor, but hardly moving at all, except for throwing their long hair over their backs from left to right. Constantly, someone pressed her perfectly shaped breasts into my chest or put her arm, ringed with numerous bracelets, around my neck. But I really didn't want these women who only wanted me because I was rich or because they could show me off to their friends. I had stopped wanting meaningless sex a long time ago. No more one-night stands and promises I didn't keep, because none of these girls attracted me to the point where I wanted to have sex with them again. They were all so boring. Either they had nothing on their minds or they looked very different in bed, without the tons of make-up and without push up bras. I was so annoyed and tired somehow. I had rather sex with my hand than with this kind of girls. None turned me on.

Babington pulled me to the bar and ordered the next round of drinks and I already made a plan in my head how I could sneak into his office to have some peace or maybe pretend to be tired or something. Just as I was about to drink, someone pushed me in the back. I turned around, but all I saw was a fluffy mop of dark hair running laughing onto the dance floor with a tall redhead. But my gaze remained fixed on her. She was quite small, but she stood out from all the others. Not only because she was not wearing high heels but comfortable looking boots. No she had pulled her hair together and tied in a thick knot on her head, she was wearing a belly free t-shirt, which exposed considerable abs and a very low sitting wide pants, that covered an incredibly interesting ass.

At first she danced a bit reservedly. Only moved her hips slightly to the beat of the music and I was about to turn to Babington when the music took on a deeper and slower beat and made her hips circle more slowly. The beat got faster and she went a little bit down on her knees, filling every tack of the music. Her arms, upper waist and especially her ass were moving. I felt like I was watching a music video, every move looked elegant and mega hot at the same time. A couple of women moved away from the girl with envious looks, because she seemed to need space to dance. Her redheaded friend moved quite well too, but I wasn't interested at all. I walked as if by remote control closer into the crowd, which closed around me and pushed me in a vibrating wave closer to her. The music changed and she jumped up and down a couple of times and screamed, it was apparently a favourite song. She moved her upper body to her friend and more or less stretched her ass towards me. Oh damn, that was a remarkable little butt. I bet it was firm, muscular. I clawed my hands together, I really wanted to touch it, but I'm not a groper. The song changed again, the crowd became tighter. Suddenly she slammed her back against my chest and I automatically held her waist. Her skin was warm and smooth. 

"Sorry." She yelled over her shoulder and danced on unimpressed. Apparently she wasn't one of those women who came here to pick someone up, she seemed to really enjoy dancing. I turned my head to Babington, who was standing behind the bar and seemed to be discussing something with the bartender, so now he had to play the 'I am the owner' card. He was really desperate. But he didn't miss me either, so I could keep watching the small woman in front of me. The beat changed and suddenly I felt her again. She was pressed against me, as some people were pressing on the dance floor, apparently a popular song. She stepped away from me and started dancing again. She moved her arms above her head, moved her hips in large circles and touched her butt, as she looked back at me with a smile. She bent to her friend.  
And then it happened. She moved her ass and her hips in such a fast rhythm that I got hard just by looking at her. But when she was pushed from another girl in my direction and suddenly stood so close again, I couldn't help it and put my hands on her hips. She turned her head to me in a flash and the annoying look on her face showed me what she thought of groping, but as soon as our eyes met, we seemed to be completely alone for a short moment. Her look bored into mine. My heart was pounding up to my neck and in the next moment she smiled, turned around and danced on. But she stayed where she was. Firmly pressed against me. She crunched her hips, bent her knees and rubbed her perfect little ass against me, I was sure she wanted to seduce me.

I was holding her hips and since I could not dance I moved very slowly in an unknown rhythm. But she didn't seem to mind, as she held my hands a lightning bolt flashed through my body. Then she lifted her hands and while one of her hands found my neck she snuggled her back up against me. Her movements became even slower, and therefore sexier. My fingers painted little circles on her incredible abs and I could hardly remember, when I did that the last time. All I ever had was hard, fast sex. No stroking and shyly touching. It wasn’t me.

She moved in the rhythm of the next song, it was an incredible sexy song and she moved and circled her body in every direction, as if she was painting a large 8 on my body with all of her sexiness. Her hand stroked my neck. I was as hard as I had not been in a long time and I knew I wanted her. I pushed my arms around her slender waist and pulled her closer to me. Her warm skin and the scent on her neck made me rub against her a little. It must have been perfectly clear to her what was going on. She laid her head to one side and I kissed her neck. She shivered and then pressed her ass even harder into me. The music was sexy. We moved in small circles and little pushes against each other. It was as if we had sex on the dance floor. I moved with her in rhythm and bent my knees. We leaned forward slightly and suddenly my hands were on the inside of her thighs and slowly moved up. She quivered and sucked in the air before I got where I wanted to go, yet my hands slid slowly back over the front of her thighs to her round hips, there I squeezed her. My finger wandered up to her waist, which I now gripped tighter.

"Come with me." I breathed into her ear and saw her shivering. I had never heard myself in that dark voice before. Man, I was so turned on, I just knew I wanted to kiss her and feel her. She slowly turned her face towards me. She was very pretty. Dark wide eyes, a small round nose and a sensual mouth. And when she opened her lips to say something, I just captured her mouth and before she could react, I shoved my tongue into her wet mouth and my hand in her hair. Instead of running away from me, she twirled her tongue around mine and I got even harder. It was so good.

Slowly she turned fully to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. I deepened the kiss and she sucked my tongue deeper and pushed hers into my mouth. It was amazing. I separated lightly from her, breathless, than turned around and pulled her behind me into the hallway to Babington's office. Without another word I entered the code there, opened the door and pressed her against it as soon as it closed. I kissed her in a wild frenzy. With passion our tongues fought inside and outside our mouths and my hands stroked her stomach and hips and grabbed her ass hard. I pressed her firmly against me and she moaned as she could feel my huge boner.

When I shoved one hand under her slim t-shirt, she was shaking again. I kissed her, sucked and bit her neck. She reached between my legs and stroked me through my jeans. I groaned. It felt so good and I wanted to feel her small hand on my cock, without disturbing clothes. But I didn’t want to come in her hand. I pressed myself closer to her. I grabbed her hair and tilted her head so that I could kiss her and she was all in. We fucked our mouths, I can't explain it any other way, it was absolute madness. I've never felt anything like this. When she grabbed my balls through the rough fabric of my jeans and massaged them with long fingers I thought my cock was going to explode at any moment. Fuck.  
My hand on her waist, slowly moving down I wanted to get between her legs. She pulled her belly in so I could slip my fingers into her jeans and she whined slightly when I could feel her wet panties. Oh, she was as turned on as me. I pushed my hand deeper and began to slowly and rhythmically circle her wet little pussy through the thin fabric.

"Oh." She moaned and I bit her shoulder as I continued to slowly move my fingers. I wanted her ass pressed against my dick and I stepped behind her. She moaned because that way I had much better access and she let out a soft whimper as I finally slid my fingers under the wet material. I stroked her damp folds and she pressed her head back into the neck, against my shoulder. And since she was so much smaller, I could kiss her. A strange angle but so arousing as she sucked my tongue. 

“Ahh“ she then cried out as I shoved a finger inside her. I froze. She was pure velvet. Soft and warm and so wet. We both moaned as I pulled my finger out slightly. And pushed back into her warm tight pussy. It was incredible. She was so slick and soft and I could glide deep into her. I also drilled a second finger into her and she made a little scream. Oh, she was so tight and it was so good I couldn't think of anything else but what it would be like to fuck her but I just wanted to feel her first. I pumped into her and our breathless moans and the smell of her arousal filled the room. God I was so hard and when she rubbed her ass on me at the rhythm of my fingers I thought I would come any moment.

"I want you." I whispered in her ear, I gripped her neck before I took her mouth again and our tongues slowed. It was somehow more arousing than the wild duelling before. My hand slowly stoked over her breasts and than I gripped her bosom firmly and I massaged it through her T-shirt, although I would have liked to feel her skin and her hard nipples, I knew this sensation had to wait.

"I don’t… do this…." She gasped and although I strangely believed her, that she wasn't that kind of girl, my hand was still in her panties. I turned her a little so that I could see her little hard nipple through her shirt and sucked it. My finger pumped very slowly and I licked down her neck. She moaned and I put my thumb on the little wet knob and circled it at a similar rhythm.

"Please, let me fuck you." I whispered into the fabric of her T-shirt and she whined briefly. My cock was aching to fill her. She relaxed even more and suddenly was even softer. Her walls pulsated around my fingers and then I fucked her faster with my hand and it was the best thing what I've done in a long time. She moaned in a strange voice.

"Come for me, babe." But she couldn't answer anymore, she clung on to me as I fingered her to the climax and she rode my hand in an even faster rhythm and I was just glad that we were leaning against the door, because I was no longer able to stand upright.

"Ahhh, oh god!" She screamed in a rough voice and that alone almost made me come. I helped her through the waves of her orgasm and kissed her lovingly on her soft lips. She was too exhausted to use her tongue. Oh, fuck I desired her more than anything. I looked into her face. How could someone be so fucking sexy, and have such an angelic innocent face? How would it feel to be above and most of all inside her? My cock twitched at the thought and for a short moment I was sure I couldn't wait any longer.

Slowly I pulled my hand out of her and stroked her swollen folds slowly, before I left her panties. Her scent overwhelmed me. Her eyes opened just in the moment when I smelled my fingers and she seemed to have a second orgasm when I put my fingers in my mouth and licked her juice. Oh I must taste her! Our eyes melted together. I leaned in kissed her slowly on the mouth. 

"I've never done this." She breathed and I believed her this as well. She suddenly looked extremely shy. Her big eyes shone as if she was about to cry.  
"Nothing likes...this." She made a strange hand movement and I wanted to give her the assurance that nothing would happen that she did not want to.

And even though she was holding on to me and I knew that she was feeling good, I couldn't shake off the feeling that she might panic a bit. In order not to put any pressure on her, I needed to cool down.

"I'll be right back." I kissed her gently on her reddened cheek.

I ran into the adjoining bathroom and washed my face with cold water. I had to calm down not to frighten her. I wanted to learn more about her, who she was and why she loved to dance and I wanted to tell her that she was incredibly sexy and smelled so good and tasted even better. Maybe we could go out and take a drink at the bar?

And when I finally came back into the room, I almost cried. 

She was gone. 

I picked up a note on the desk.

"Please forgive me. C."


	2. Candy shop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some time has passed, but Sidney can't forget the girl from the club. When he sees her again by chance, he doesn't understand what's wrong with him....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something to sweeten your Saturday...  
> Hope you enjoy...

"Forget that little bitch," Babington said, and I wanted to punch him in the face.  
"Stop it!" I grumbled instead.  
"Listen, you gave her a good time, and she just takes off before you get a chance. She was just thinking of herself."

I hit the table. I didn't care that people were watching, but him talking about her like that really went too far.

"That's not the point!"  
"It's not? Weren't you supposed to fu..."  
I grabbed him by the collar before he could finish saying it. I wish I hadn't told him.  
"What?" He asked and slipped away.  
"No it was more than that. I... I kind of had this feeling..." I was running my hair I couldn't explain it exactly.

"Oh, you just have ‘that feeling’, because she's the only one who ever run away from you. You and your dick just can't take it." He laughed.  
"It's more than that."  
"What's more than what?"  
"We've had some kind of connection... I don't know." I closed my eyes for a second and then I took a sip of my espresso. I remembered the look on her face. "I think she panicked."

Babington looked at me and made that face. "But why did she go with you in the first place?"  
"I think...she felt the same thing, it was something in the air."  
"Oh shit." my Babington then.  
"What?"  
"You're fooling yourself. She just wanted to have some fun and before she had to return the favour she ran away. That’s it. Not everyone wants to have sex." He shrugged, and even though I knew he was probably right, I wasn't 100% sure. I didn't want to believe it.

"Forget her. It's been three weeks."  
That sucks. "I know." But I couldn’t.

I had kind of lost my drive. That was of course due to the annoying cooperation with my two brothers. Certainly not, because of this encounter with the runaway girl. I didn't care about her at all.   
I was so annoyed and lazy that I didn't listen to anyone and promised my sister-in-law to go shopping for the frozen party of my nieces. If they hadn't tormented me with their little whining voices, I would probably have sat on the couch the whole day again and looked frozen for the hundredth time. I wouldn't have cared. But as they, like all women, could remember things and especially promises super well, I went off to get them what they wanted. I thought I could go to a shopping centre, but they wanted me to go to some special shop.   
The only one in the whole world with frozen-like candies. I spent two hours in a book and toy store, where I bought everything else on the list they gave me, countless glittery things. My credit card was already glowing, but I didn't care about that either.

I was carrying the two full bags to the car, when I remembered the candy shop on the opposite side of the street. It was already late and it looked like the shop was about to close, but I tried my luck.   
There were two little boys standing in front of a shelf with colourful candies and talking to someone who seemed kneeling before them, but was hidden by the shelf. I heard a friendly voice talking to them "You can't try everything and if you don't like it, put it back."

"Mommy!” cried one of the boys “the woman says we have to take the things we ripped off."  
"Even if we don't like it!" The other scolded.

"She has a point." I laughed and looked down at the salesgirl who just got up and straightened her skirt.

I froze. So was she. Shit. It was her.

"What?"  
"Why did you...?"

"Oh look, there!" cried one of the boys and ran to the other side of the shelves.

Our eyes stuck together, my heart was beating wildly and I could see by her reddened cheeks that she was also quite nervous.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed, she had that slightly painful expression on her pretty face again. Only now I noticed her countless freckles.

"I'm going shopping," I replied coldly. Then I asked her "Why did you run away?"

She didn't answer immediately, but searched the shop where the children were, came a little closer and I was immediately enveloped by her heady scent. It was sugar-sweet from the candies around us, and something warm.

"I don't do that kind of thing."

I laughed ironically. "Leaving guys standing. Literally?"

"Really believe me, it was the first time, and I... I was..."  
"What? Satisfied and then you can't even wait to say goodbye?"  
"I'm not one for this kind of... stuff."  
"Hmm, when I remember right…. It was good stuff... for you."

She looked hurt, and I wanted to apologize when she exhaled in annoyance, looked around again, and came an other step closer, whispering. 

"I don't do one-night stands."   
Her dark voice sent a shiver down my spine directly in my dick. Shit that was embarrassing! 

"Who said anything about one-night stands?" I pressed out between my teeth. And it looked like she felt similar to my dark voice.  
Our eyes met and I don't know why I was getting warm inside, but I was so angry with her and this whole situation and my stupid desire for her. I was tense and wanted to shake her.

"You said ‘Please, let me f....’" She stopped and looked at the mother with the boys, who walked down the corridor between the shelves. She looked me into my face with this dark eyes and she seemed shy again. What? She couldn't even say it? 

"Fuck you?" I asked stretched out but quietly and I saw her flinch slightly. "I did." I waved the fingers that had been inside her. She turned pale at first and then her cheeks turned red again. She looked away. Ashamed. Oh shit, why have I said that?

"What does the C stand for?" Oh, I had a really mean thought, "C for ‘Candy’?" I looked around the store "Or for ‘run away Cu..’?"

"I'm sorry if I hurt you," she interrupted me sarcastically and lifted her eyes. Her gaze bored into mine. "But as the boss of a club, you do it all the time." 

Ah, that's what it's all about. "The club belongs to my best friend."   
And at the same time she said "And I didn't want to..." Brief silence. "Fine."

"Didn't want what?" I asked, but she shook her head and said quietly instead.

"I'm sorry," she touched her forehead and continued "hope you don't think too badly of me." Her face seemed, some kind of hopeful.  
"Don't think too badly of you?" I laughed like she said something really funny, "I don't think of you at all." Our eyes met again, and I knew she had seen right through me.

"If that was the case, you wouldn't have thought of my name." She gave me that to think about without losing her serious face. She turned away from me and went behind the counter to sell marshmallows to the mother with her boys.

"Are you the new girl?"  
"No, I'm just here to help out today."  
"Is the position still available?"  
"Yes, you can send your application by email."  
She gave the woman a business card.  
"Oh, thank you."

When the woman was gone, she reached into one of the bowls and pulled out a jelly stick, looked at it as if it had suddenly appeared in her hand without her doing and put it back with a disgusted look on her face. Her very pretty face, but she looked ashamed and like she wanted to disappear into the ground. 

"What was that?" I asked, pretending to think. "You can't try everything, and if you don't like it, you can put it back." I gave her a mean grin.   
"That's not how it was."  
"You used me." I accused her, and only now I admitted to myself that I was hurt. And apparently so did she, judging by the look on her face.

"I didn't mean to." She shook her head, gave me a little look and then ran through a door into the back of the store. I couldn't think straight and ran after her.

"Now you run away again!"  
"What do you want from me?" She shouted angrily at me.  
"I don't know, talk?"   
"Talk?" She looked at my lips for a moment and bit hers. "So talk."  
"Oh, forget it, Candy." I spit the name, turned around and was about to leave when she grabbed me by the arm and pulled me to her.   
"Charlotte." I stared at her. Why was my arm hot?  
"Hmm?"  
"Charlotte, my name is Charlotte." She breathed.

And why then happened, what happened I really couldn't say, but the next moment I tore her into my arms and pressed my lips to hers. She immediately opened her mouth and devoured me with her sweet strawberry-tasting tongue. Why did she taste like strawberries?

My hands found her ass and I pressed her against me. She whined for a moment when she felt how hard I already was again and wrapped her arms around my neck. I pulled her up a little and my hands found their way under her skirt. God, that ass was amazing. It felt just like I imagined it would. Hard and muscular. I moaned and massaged her firm bums until she gasped in a shaky voice and my lips found their way to her neck. She tugged at me and pressed me onto a chair. I pulled her closer and she straddled me. In slow sexy movements she pressed down on my dick. Now I had to moan and my hips twitched up as she kissed down my neck and was grinding into me. Ahh, how I wanted her! What was she doing to me?

She was like… I didn't have words for her. I wanted to feel more of her incredible fine ass and pulled on her panties. She hissed almost painfully, probably the fabric had rubbed into her pussy. She sucked on my neck and licked into my mouth. Her hands were everywhere. Under my shirt, she scratched my nipples. The other hand was on my face, in my hair. She rubbed herself against me with the sexy moves, like on the dance floor and made such small breathless noises. I was sure that my jeans would burst and reached between us to open it. Oh damn, she was so incredible turned on, like I was. My jeans were wet from her arousal. Her hands were there and pushed mine away, she opened my jeans and her small hand went straight into my boxers. A jolt ran trough me awaiting her touch. Almost tenderly she brushed me and we both gasped for air. It was such an amazing feeling I couldn’t think straight. She stroked my dick carefully as if she feared to break it.

I pressed my lips into her neckline and tried to get at her bosom, but cried out as she took me harder. And when she started to pump me slowly, I moaned so loudly that she covered my mouth with her other hand. Our eyes met. Fuck, I was about to come when she seemed to eat me up with that look. 

She set a slow powerful pace. Slowly up and even slower back. Up, she gripped my cock harder, back to the shaft, up again to the throbbing tip. There she squeezed briefly before she slid slowly down again. Tenderly her hand slipped from my lips and she pushed her sweet tongue thorough my lips and licked into my mouth. We kissed, licked and sucked in the slow rhythm she set with her hand. I massaged with one hand her perfect little ass and my other hand pulled down the neckline of her shirt, I wanted to feel her bosom. When I got hold of one of this gorgeous bosoms we both moaned again. When I touched the small hard nipple through the fabric of her bra, I rubbed my thumb over it and she threw her head back, groaning. I licked and sucked on the sensitive skin of her throat. Her hand clawed into my hair and pressed me closer to her, she straightened up a little and I was able to get better access to her breasts. I first massaged the flesh lovingly but she pressed it so hard into my face that I couldn't help licking and nibbling it. I kissed her through the silk of her bra and her stiff little nipple stood so hard against the fabric that I sucked on it. 

"Ohh." She cried and as I pressed her back harder to get more of the breast into my mouth she picked up the rhythm of her hand. My spine was tingling and I lost my grip on her bosom. It tickled everywhere. My whole body was on fire. 

"Fuck!" I shouted when I realized that I was about to come and in the next moment she broke away from me, I heard a drawer, then she pressed a rough cloth on me and then her whole weight was pressed on my cock. It pulsed and my body was vibrating and shaking. I cried out, but she caught my roar with her strawberry tongue and licked my mouth as if I was a candy. She kept rubbing herself against me until I regained consciousness. Her gaze was a little distant, her cheeks flushed and she sucked both lips in. I put both my hands in her hair and pulled her closer. Her lips were soft on mine as we kissed tenderly. Then I heard a bell. 

"Shit!" she screamed and got off me. She looked down at herself and as she was a bit tousled but otherwise flawless I nodded at her. She turned around and disappeared.

After a while I stood on shaky legs to dispose of the towel. My phone rang, and one of my nieces screamed in my ear when I would finally come. I calmed her down and hung up. Then Charlotte stuck her head inside the door, just as I smiled at her she shouted in a hushed voice.

"Get out!"  
"What?" I couldn't believe she threw me out.  
"My boss!" Her voice turned in a full panic. She pointed to the back door and disappeared. Oh, shit. 

I ran up to the yard and through a passageway I could step out onto the sidewalk, I crossed the street and watched the shop. Apparently her boss was an energetic older lady who seemed to give her a piece of her mind. She was standing behind the counter with her head lowered and her flushed face kept flinching as the old lady gestured wildly with her hands. I wanted to wait, we had to talk, but as my phone ringed again and my sister-in-law’s name flashed on the screen, I went to my car and left.


	3. wicked game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney can't believe who he meets outside his house...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty nervous if you like this chapter....

The next three days, I called the candy shop several times a day, asked the saleswoman where Charlotte was and always got the same answer. 

"No, no a Charlotte isn’t working here."

But on the third day, I drove there and was lucky to met the old lady and I asked again about Charlotte, when she just pulled a face and said, "I don't know her".  
For that, she had Charlotte pretty intimidated the other day, so I asked again.

"That's just another friend of my nice, she just helped out this one day." She eyed me from top to toe and then asked, "Why? What has she done?"  
"Nothing."  
"What do you want from her?"  
"Well, I..." wow, I stammered around like a teenager.  
"Are you a douchebag like the rest of them?" The old lady looked at me like she was about to stab me through the heart with a candy cane and I took a step back.

"What? No..."   
"What?"  
"I just want her number."  
"Why?"  
I laughed, yes why? Cause she's been in my head for weeks? I wanted to get to know her, because I knew something was there between us, for what had happened... it was so… passionate. But I also knew that this was not all.  
"So why?"   
"I can't get her out of my head." Shit, why did I tell her that? I stopped my awkward laughing when I saw the disapproving look of this old lady. I cleared my throat and asked, "Do you have her number?"  
"No."  
I didn't believe her. "Then maybe I can talk to your nice?"   
"I'm certainly NOT going to give you Esther's number!" she grumbled and looked at me like I was some kind of pervert. I gritted my teeth, and then I gave her my card, wrote a note on the back and gave it to her. "Please pass these to her, it's really important."

She looked at me once more, then looked at the business card and nodded briefly.   
But of course, I heard nothing from her.

A few days later, exactly 4 weeks after our first meeting, I couldn't believe my eyes when I came home from jogging and she locked her bike in front of my house. I was so...god...can I really say that? Happy to see her! And she looked so different and familiar at the same time. Wow, these jeans she wore made her ass just a bit more wow. But mostly I was happy that she had apparently asked for my address at Bab's club, so she wanted to meet me too! Wow, I was really taken aback. The minute she rang the bell, I said.

"Hey!" And she turned as if stung by a tarantula and shouted in shock, "What the hell?"  
Well, that was a greeting. I walked smiling closer and she looked around nervously as if she was looking for a way out. Hadn't she come to see me?  
"What the fuck?" she bluffed at me and I felt it bubbling inside me again, why did she trigger so confusing feelings in me? "What?" I shouted and she flinched for a moment.

"Are you stalking me?!" Charlotte grumbled and I had to laugh, she finally stood in front of my house!  
"Obviously you’re stalking me, I live here!"

At first she stared at my face with a look that could kill, then her face went soft for a moment and I would say a vulnerable expression took over and then she looked away and closed her eyes for a short moment. Nodding silently she stretched her back and then said quietly "I see."

In this moment my nieces opened the door and shouted happily "Oh hello Charlotte!"   
They knew her? What’s going on? We went in without another word. But I approached her as she take off her coat.

"Listen, I just wanted to..." I stepped closer I wanted to apologize, why was actually not quite clear to me, but I felt how uncomfortable she was and I just couldn't bear it.  
"I don't care what you want." She did not even look at me. 

What the fuck? What was wrong with her? I touched her arm briefly, and she turned around and asked in a harsh voice "What?"  
"What are you doing here?" I asked her quietly.  
"Why don't you ask your wife?" 

Charlotte pulled her arm away and followed the girls into the garden, where Mary said hello. She thought Mary was my wife? I grinned. Judging by her reaction, she hated the idea. And when I thought about that, it would have been really hateable. I needed to clarify the matter, and I needed some answers.

"Oh Sidney, come here." Mary waved me over. Charlotte was all pale and avoided my gaze. Her eyes seemed to be looking for something on the ground, but I had the feeling that she was thinking of our two encounters, since her cheeks had taken on a slight pink blush and I thought she was just so... cute as she stood there like that.

"New nanny?" I asked and got the expected reaction, a frown from Charlotte.  
"This is Charlotte Heywood," said Mary annoyed at my behaviour, "the interior architect."  
"What?" I asked looking at Charlotte, but that would mean….  
"I don't want Tom to spend any unnecessary money on a remodel again. So we can just rearrange the rooms and make better use..." But I wasn't really listening I couldn’t fathom my luck. Now I knew her name, had a number and…. I smiled at her, but she avoided my gaze.

"This is Sidney, my brother-in-law." Mary just explained and Charlotte's head snapped up and her sweet mouth opened to a mute "What?" and then our eyes met, I smiled again all churned up inside, that I would see her constantly now, that I had temporarily forgotten that she had called me names. I had to fix that.

Mary asked Charlotte to follow her so she could take a look at the rooms. Since my nieces forced me to play with them, I couldn't go with her, but I caught a glimpse of Charlotte, when she shortly looked back at me. And it caught me unguarded. Her big eyes looked somehow…. sad and I didn’t know why, but it did something to me.

After I took a long shower, I looked at the clock and noticed that I was late. I finally had to get in gear and get to work. But with her under the same roof, my imagination had run away with me and...Yes.. I just needed a little longer in the shower.

Two hours and numerous telephone calls with investors later, there was a knock at the door. My heart was pounding and I didn't know why was that... But it was just Mary, fearing that Charlotte had left or something I stood up, and was immediately relaxed again, when she came into the room behind Mary. But Charlotte avoided my gaze again and started to look around the room. God she was so sexy, how she concentrated on her work and always put the pencil in her hand thoughtfully to her mouth, opened her mouth slowly, as if she wanted to push it slowly into her mouth. I froze, as I noticed that I got hard again, when my brain conjured up another image. What was wrong with me? I watched her swallowing and waited for her perfect mouth to wrap around the pencil, but she seemed to remember something and squeezed her lips together.

"You're showing her around, all right?" Mary asked, and we both nodded wordlessly, and then we were alone, standing at arm's length from each other. I could smell her perfume. Something flowery.

"Hey." I began but was struck down in the next moment. Verbally.  
"What's that wicked game you play?" She yelled and took a few steps back, like she was afraid of me.   
"Excuse me?" I could not believe what was happening and watched her bite her lip and looked around nervously.  
"Funny thing, you paid me back, huh?" Why her shouting turned me on I could not say, but I noticed how I became… aware she was wearing a very nice blouse, her cleavage was perfect. I could see a pink lace popping out, but forced myself to look her in the eyes again.  
"What are you talking about?" I pressed out, shit hopefully she didn't see how I was starring at her. She looked at me in disgust.  
"What, don’t remember? Hmm…" She pretended to think about it and then slammed my own words back in my face. "Satisfied and not waiting to say goodbye?"   
And maybe I should have left it at that, but this one tear running down her cheek tempted me to try again. 

"It wasn't like that…" I began but she cut me off.  
"Oh no? I went looking for you and you were gone." This little wrinkle between her eyebrows she also had, when she made me come in my jeans, drove me crazy and I wanted to fuck this look out of her pretty face.   
"I had to go to my nieces' party." I said instead, and walked back to my chair, I tried to adjust my pants and tried to think of something else to leave the tension.  
"Oh, sure." She muttered to my back. I looked at her and damn she was just beautiful with her rosy cheeks and her heavy breathing. Sarcasm suited her.  
"That's why I went to the shop." I bluffed back and she seemed to think about it for a moment and eyed me again.   
"Yet you were gone..." She was really hard to convince.  
"I called there every day. You don't work there." I shouted.  
"I never said I did." She shouted back.

"The old lady was trying to beat me to death with a lollipop." I tried to joke, but my voice was harsher than I wanted, she bit her lip and seemed to get goose bumps, at least as far as I could tell by looking down her blouse.  
"What?" her face lost its pissed look and she got all... her again. "You were there?"  
"Yes," I admitted, and walked back to her like as a magnet pulled me. "She called me names."  
"Yes, she always does that." Charlotte chuckled slightly and it made something strange with my heart, what…?   
"What did you want there?" This soft voice send a warm shiver up my back and my heart pounded in my chest. This was very strange. My dick didn’t get it yet. Her incredible big eyes look up to me and I was all…tingling? Fuck, what the hell was that? I shrugged and told her.

"Your number."

"Why did you want my number?" she asked and somehow she was just inches away.  
"I still want it." I grinned.  
"Why?" her eyes moved to my lips and her breasts rose and fell quickly.   
"So I can call you." I touched her slightly at the waist.  
"To do what?" her eyes pierced mine and I felt strangely...warm.  
"To tell you that I..."   
"What?" She interrupted me again.  
"I'm pretty hot." I said in this dark voice I only get when I was with her. She laughed briefly and shook her head in amusement. "Hot for you." I clarified.   
"Are you?" She bit her lip.  
"As if you didn't know." I tugged her closer.  
"If that's all..." she leaned away from me and pretended to want to get away from me.  
"I'm hot to get to know you." She looked at me and raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "All of you." I looked over her body and licked my lips.   
"So it's something... sexual." she breathed and it seemed like a question.  
"Not only."

Charlotte took a deep breath and when I leaned closer, my nieces stormed into the room. We immediately stepped back and admitted to be busy with the room measurements.

"Mom said we can show you our room now." And that's when they pulled her out of my office.

Of course, I couldn't concentrate at all anymore and one hour after she left my office I ran around the house looking for her. When I found her, sitting at the bar chairs in the kitchen, next to my bedroom I really felt the need to undo my pants. What was wrong with my hard-on the second I saw her ass? She was kneeling on this chair drawing something for the girls. Her butt was squeezed and I watched her for a while and knew I had to get her out of the kitchen and into my room.

"So done." Charlotte tore the picture from the sketchpad and gave it to the girls. Then she sat up and looked over her shoulder at me like she knew I was there. I knew she'd seen the bulge in my pants with this one look down my body, but instead of averting her gaze, she seemed to be thinking about what to do with this now. She stood up and it was a lascivious movement, much like the dance at the club. Why did she do this to me? The look she gave me was really sexy and I noticed that my pants became tighter. Charlotte pushed me out of the kitchen and closed the door behind her and took a step towards me. I felt her hand on my dick and she squeezed without hesitation.

"So you are a bit hot for me?" she groaned and I had to swallow.

"I think you need to check the size of my room again," I said, and that was supposed to be the hint that I wanted her in my room right away, but she took it as an innuendo and whispered, "Not just a little bit, I have to say."

I couldn't think straight anymore and I whispered in her ear, "What do you plan to do now?"  
"Hmm," she looked at me with a mean little grin. "I'm done for the day and… I'm going home."  
"You can't leave me like this," I said, and I wasn't embarrassed at all that I sounded desperate.  
"I thought it wasn't just sexual?" she said in a hoarse voice, and I was so on edge, it didn't need much. I stared at the ceiling and I rumbled. "Still."

The next moment, she pushed me against the wall in the hallway. She rubbed her hand over my giant boner a couple of times and I looked down and saw her cute little nipple pressing through the fabric of her blouse. I pulled her with me, pushed the my room door open and pinned her against the wall next to it. I pressed my hardness against her and she sighed.

"I was thinking of you all the time." I told her.She closed her eyes while my hands closed around her breasts.   
"I was thinking of you too," she moaned into my neck, where she did nothing just nibbled slightly. I rubbed my thumbs over her nipples, they were stiff and hard under my touch.   
"What were you thinking?"  
"How you felt beneath me." She rubbed herself against me and I grinded my hips against her, shit we weren't alone, Mary would probably come looking for her in a minute.   
"How hard you were for me." she hummed. Fuck, now I was even harder. 

"And I..." she moaned as I kissed down her neck, "remember your..." I kissed her cleavage "fingers inside me." My hips slammed forward, it couldn't be true! She was a little minx. But what she could do, so could I.   
"Did you come for me?"   
"Every night." 

I whined, I really couldn't help the sound I made. It just came out of me. 

"And now?"  
"Hmmm."  
"Are you wet for me?"  
"What do you think?" she sighed boldly as I undid the button on her jeans she bit her lips.  
"I think your sweet little pussy is ready for me." I shoved my hand in her jeans, as I heard the clacking of Mary’s shoes on the hallway and I cursed as I turned around in a flash and went to the window.

She knocked and asked if we were ready and Charlotte ripped the door open and replied as if we weren't about to do it again, "Yeah sure. Come in." This little... Ahh I couldn't turn around and she knew it, but luckily at that moment my nephew was screaming and Mary was running out of the room. "Find your own way out, will you?"

A moment later Charlotte stood behind me and put her hand between my legs. She rubbed her fingers over my still pretty obvious bulge in my pants and said.   
"What is it with you?"

I turned around, and I pushed my arms around her waist. "Let's find out." I leaned in and got a little taste of her lips when she answered.

"Tomorrow."


	4. tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...the little teasing continues and Sidney makes a discovery that really throws him off track.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your nice and funny comments.  
> I like it!
> 
> Hope to sweeten your Sunday.  
> Have fun!

"Tomorrow."

She had said that, and she was right. I would find out what that was about us.

But first, I knew Charlotte knew exactly what she was doing or was enjoying it because of my reaction to her. On the first day, she wore a blouse with short but pretty wide sleeves. So every time she raised her arms to her bun on her head or stretched her arms up to get the tension out of her neck. So every time she raised her bun on her head or stretched her arms up to get the tension out of her neck,  
These wide sleeves slipped so that a red lace bra was exposed under her arms.

Every time she did that she looked over her shoulder at me and smiled an innocent, sweet smile and I just shook my head. About her brazen way of getting me into trouble and even more about my reaction. I didn't have a total boner, but the desire to rip her blouse off was quite strong.

Since there was always someone around us, we couldn't do anything but press against each other once. I think she wanted to check how I was doing. But I was in control. The second little moment we stole in the middle of Mary's living room was kind of... different. She stood there looking at me with such a sexy expression that I couldn't help but go over to her. But out of fear of getting caught, which was somehow exciting, we could only exchange a little kiss. Oddly enough, it felt strangely intimate. And when Charlotte then separated from me, there was this little fold between her eyebrows again, but this time I had no dirty thought when I saw it.

That night I had dinner with my brothers and some investors, but I asked her anyway, "Can I see you?"

"I'll be back tomorrow," she returned with a smile and I looked at her through narrowed eyes. "But I..."

"See you tomorrow, Mr Parker."

More than a grumble, I did not give her as an answer and hid my smile by turning around and letting her go. Somehow I liked that we had our physical lust under control so far. But that 'Mr Parker' was quite... effective.

The next day the little game continued. This time she was wearing a shoulder-less blouse and I caught her - or rather, she made me catch her, straightening the black strapless bra that flashed out when she bent forward, which she did all the time.

But this time I played along. When I had finally caught her alone, I did not hesitate long and pulled her to me and seized her mouth. We kissed wildly and heatedly and with a small jerk I pulled the blouse from her shoulders. The elastic from the collar pushed her breasts up a little more and I couldn't hold on to myself and grabbed her breasts with my hands. The bra was somehow padded because I couldn't feel her nipples, but when I tugged at the fabric she pushed me away and shook her head. "Patience Mr Parker, patience."

What was my reaction to the murmur of my name? Yes, I became stone hard again and I had to clench my hands to fists so as not to reach for it. I imagined how she would say this in another situation and I turned around and just walked away. I wasn't sure if I wouldn't have laid her over the counter right here in the kitchen and fucked away her little cheeky grin.

Since she had to spend a few days in her office to create a 3D view for the creative changes in our house, I was obnoxious. I was in a really bad mood and I wrote her a message. She answered immediately and we wrote a bit back and forth, but actually without really saying anything. I wanted to see her and have a real conversation. And if that wasn't strange enough... I had to admit to myself that I just wanted her to be here. That's why I was surprised and delighted, really!  
When she wrote to me and asked "Dinner tomorrow night?" As soon as the message popped up on my display, I wrote my answer. "Yes!"

Charlotte then explained that she had an appointment with Mary in the late afternoon to show her the designs and that we could leave immediately afterwards. I was aroused. Not only aroused, but excited. I didn't know exactly what was wrong with me, but I called a prestigious Thai restaurant and made a reservation. Then I thought to myself that she wasn't the hippest and that I should maybe make a reservation at the small Italian restaurant, from where we would be back in my house soon... But it should not come to that.

The following afternoon I heard the doorbell ring and my heart made a strange pounding. I was walking up the stairs from my office and heard Mary say to her, "Oh Charlotte you look great, do you have a date?" 

"Yes."

I heard a slight uneasiness in her voice and I have to say that it also caused me to sway a little. Not the tone in her voice, that was sweet, but that she thought it was a date. Was it a date? Would I be dating her? I haven't done that since I was a teenager. I really had no idea what to do. Until I saw her.

Her back was to me. In open high shoes, her slightly tanned and well-shaped legs really made me want to jump her right now. I imagined how they were wrapped around my hips. Then I examined the dress. Even if it only lasted a few seconds, I could have described her exactly. I memorized everything. Every birthmark, the smallest one. Even a small scar.That dress was... unexpected. Let's start with the colour. Light green. She was wearing a light green dress, which somehow emphasized the colour of her skin and the dark brown of her curls, which she had pinned back up to her head. The dress was knee-length and the back neckline went almost to her waist. I wondered if she was wearing a bra and when she turned around I knew she definitely wasn't. Because under my gaze her pretty little nipples became visible and I licked my lips. Not because I wanted to lick her, and not just over those cheeky little parts that seemed to stare at me. No. My lips were dry and I had a real problem swallowing, like I hadn't had a drink in hours. What was that all about?

"Oh, Sidney, " Mary made me go to see her, "maybe you can give Charlotte a drink, I'll put on TV for the kids."

Without saying a word or even saying hello to her, I went into the kitchen and got a glass from the cupboard. I didn't ask what she wanted either, I just gave her a glass of water and stood behind the kitchen counter. I really needed some kind of safe distance. It was very strange, my heart kept making these funny double beats and I couldn't get a word out for any reason.

Charlotte nodded and briefly pulled her lips into her mouth. "Too much, then?"  
"What do you mean?" I croaked, where was my voice?  
"The dress," she looked down at herself and suddenly crossed her arms in front of her breasts, as if she had only just noticed that she was not wearing a bra. "You do not like it." her voice had also taken on a strange tone, not at all as confident and cheeky as the last few days.

"Don't do that." I said as I leaned over the counter and pulled one of her arms away. She looked at me with big eyes, and it was only now that I really looked at her for the first time. At her face. Fucking shit. She was fucking gorgeous. So beautiful. Her eyes were big as always and they gleamed somehow. Her lips were painted a light pink. But, as usual, she wasn't wearing make-up. I could have counted her freckles if I dared to go closer. Our eyes... I don't know, somehow interlocked. And if Mary hadn't come, we'd still be standing like this an hour later. I was almost sure of it.

When she finished her presentation an hour later and tried to sneak out of the house, I caught her in the hallway and dragged her with me. She turned towards the living room where Mary was sitting with the children, but they didn't notice anything. I pulled her into my bedroom and, unlike the last time, I didn't feel the urge to press her against the wall to press my dick between her legs. It was all very confusing. We looked at each other and the next moment I reached out my hand to her and as soon as she took it, I pulled her towards me. I took her in my arms. A real hug. An embrace. No groping or anything. I don't know why, but it felt good. One hand landed on the naked skin of her back and the other moved up her spine and played with the little curls curling up her neck. It felt... good. What... was that?

I broke away from her and was about to ask her whether Thai or Italian, when she came closer and kissed me. Oh wow, if her lips weren't so tasty I might have thought about eating more, but she was just so...so sweet. A while later I picked her up and now we ended up next to the door on the wall. We kissed. Deeply. She twirled her tongue around mine at a crazy pace and only when we had to catch our breath did I stroke her lips with my tongue. I ran both hands over her body and I remembered that she was not wearing anything under this dress. At least no bra. I put her back on her feet, detached myself from her and took a step back. I eyed her from her shoes over her legs, which I could imagine very well spread out under me, over this green dress and then the halter top. Her little nipples pressed through the fabric and I had to..it was not only desire it was a need in particular to see her bosom. I lifted my arms and slowly stroked her from her shoulders over her neck to the knot in her neck. I opened it and pulled it gently, as if I was uncovering a small treasure, down the fabric. We both drew in the air sharply as my knuckles and the back of my hand passed over her sensitive nub.

When I had undressed her to her waist, I stepped back a little and raised my gaze.  
"Damn" escaped me. I reached for her bosom and closed my hands around these full round pieces that fitted my hand exactly as if they were made for it.  
"Holy shit... you're... " I closed my eyes and massaged this lush gift of nature and slowly stroked my thumbs over these little perfect red nipples. "Perfect."  
I could hear her breath quickening the slower I stroked her. I squeezed her nipple between my forefinger and thumb and pulled a little. Charlotte moaned softly. I did it again and then I held her right nipple, leaned lower and let rain down quick little licks. She shivered slightly. I did it again and again and squeezed the other nipple tighter. I leaned to the other side, there I licked once over the white flesh.

She moaned again and I worked my way forward to the areola. But I avoided touching it and she was already fidgeting impatiently and curved her back to more or less press her breasts into my face. I leaned back to the other one and without much fuss I closed my mouth around the nipple and sucked. Hard. She made a little sound that sent a hot flash through my body. Right in my dick. My balls contracted as she held my head in place and wrapped her leg around my waist. I took care of the other side again and there I licked around again in a big bow. Until she gave me a whiny "please."

Fuck! What was that? That tone in her voice. Desperate. Begging. I wanted to hear it again. I had another one of those boners that pressed painfully against my pants, but unlike the other times, I didn't have the need to push up the dress and fuck her pressed up against the wall. I wanted to hear her voice and that sound, I needed that sound! Very slowly I licked over this dream becoming flesh. Soft and firm and I held it in my hand. I looked at it as if it was a delicate one and my mouth was really watering. I'd never experienced that before. A whiny sound. I looked into her beautiful face and our gazes locked together again as I slowly leaned closer and licked with my broad tongue over her nipple.

Charlotte was shaking and breathing loudly when I did it again. I held her other boob tighter and pinched her nipple. But this one... hmmm I took my time. Once again I licked it with relish, like I was licking an ice cream. And this little line between her eyebrows was there. Her eyes were almost distorted in pain and then, ahh, I closed my eyes.

"Please Sidney..." and then I sucked her nipple hard into my mouth. Punched it hard with my tongue. I could hear her almost crying and gasping for air.  
"Ahh, oooh. That..." I looked up at her. She had her head pressed against the wall. Her face was flushed. My hands stroked and massaged her bosom, pinching and pulling at her little nipples. And while she moaned my name and was grinding her hips into mine, I took her mouth and we kissed very deeply. She trembled at me and her knees gave way.

Shit, did I just give her an orgasm without getting near her panties? Not only was that new, but I didn't even feel like trying to push my cock inside her. In the past I didn't care that much about it. If the women wanted it, I took them wherever they let me, but Charlotte? With her it was different. I wanted her to feel good in the first place. Fuck, what is this with her?

After I had separated from her and kissed, licked and stroked her incredible gorgeous bosom tenderly once more, I tied her top together and stroked her cheek. We looked at each other, she bit her lip and pointed into the direction of the bathroom and disappeared for a few moments. I was just adjusting my cock in my pants when she left the bathroom with her face still reddened. She had opened her hair. Her soft brown curls surrounded her face and for a second I found myself breathless. She was stunning. I walked over to her and she looked up to me under her lashes and I felt a tingling in my stomach. Oooh, what was happening? Her lips tempted me to bent down and I saw that she closed her eyes in anticipation. I heard her breath hitched and I felt my heart slamming against my chest. Whaat was thaaat? Our lips touched, and I knew I had a very big problem. And I didn’t mean my dick, which only twitched once. No! This was nothing I expected. Nothing I ever felt before in my entire life. It was amazing and it scared the hell out of me. Shit! Shit! 

Charlotte let me press my lips on hers and than she kissed me back. Without hurry. First there was no tongue. Just our lips. Nibbling slowly on each other. My brain slowly caught up with everything we did. Apparently I had pushed my arm around her back and pulled her slightly closer. My other hand stroked her hair back. She made an approving sound. I felt her hand on my back. The other clutched my upper arm, as if she wanted to hold on for dear life. My fingers painted small circles in her neck. I didn’t even know how they got there. Then she opened her lips for me, but our tongues touched only slightly. Only the tips. I stroked gently over her cheek. I tried to tell her something. I just didn’t know I wanted her to know. Shit, what am I doing? Shit. This is not happening! How could that be? Fuck!! As the knowledge crept into my brain, I couldn’t breath for a moment. I stopped. I withdrew from her and our lips touched so barely, they tickled. And then Charlotte brushed my lips almost carefully, like she needed the reminder that I was still there. I heard her breath was shaking. Maybe she felt the same? 

But what was it exactly? Was it IT? I just.. It couldn’t be...oohoho shit, shit! I felt weak. I had to steady myself and leaned more against her. It was tingling. Everywhere. My forehead prickled when it touched hers and her warmth and her loveliness swept into my head and my blood and everything else. When the certainty was within me, I didn’t know what to do. Should I tell her? Or better not, maybe she would feel some pressure to say it and maybe she doesn't feel it at all? 

"Sidney?" 

Oh no, fuck! My brain worked too slowly for the questions in my head. What should I do? If she said something and then expected me to say it, or rather if I say it back than, she probably thought I just said it because she said it. But maybe she didn’t expect it, or maybe she did and than is incredibly disappointed, if I didn’t say it back, but I didn’t want to say it, because she expected it. But I meant it. I felt it in my heart, in my brain, I felt it in my veins. Just everywhere. 

"Charlotte?"  
"I..." that desperate tone again, but I interrupted her.  
"Please stay."


	5. stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens if Charlotte stays?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the week!

And she stayed. 

At first, we were a little stiff, and I didn't mean the part in my jeans that calmed down. No, I have to say, we were a little tense at first. I had to clear my throat several times before I could really talk to her, and she nervously ran her hair. 

"I'm just got us a drink, all right?"

She nodded in silence, and I into the kitchen, got two bottles of beer from the fridge, not knew if she even liked beer, and went back. Charlotte stood at my window and looked out into the side garden.

"I didn't know if..."  
"Oh, thanks." She took the beer from me and knocked the bottle against mine, we took a big sip and stood there a little lost next to each other until Charlotte started talking about the plans and I was glad when she unpacked her tablet and showed me the designs. My room was to become the shared office, so that I could have my new room or much more my own little apartment in the studio where my office was just now. I would also get a separate entrance and joked, "So you can go in and out unseen."

The moment I said it, I cursed inwardly that I had perhaps given too much away or that she would flee in panic. But she just meant, without looking at me. "I'll make me my own key."

A strange silence fell over us, and my brain seemed to have stopped working, because I heard myself saying "Of course."

Our eyes met briefly and I had that strange heart thing again and her smile was so, was so, I don't know, cute? Yeah, cute. Sweet. Like she was happy. Seriously?!

"Let me show you." Then she clicked on a video and we took a virtual tour of my new home. She had thought of everything and I was amazed that she had met my taste so well, although she had only seen the previous rooms and we had not even really talked about what I liked or wanted in a home. I asked her about it and she just shrugged her shoulders and said,   
"Mary has told me a lot and...I know you a little bit too..." at the end of the sentence her voice became very soft and I saw her cheeks turn slightly pink. 

Whoa! Shit! What’s going on now? My heart was pumping twice as fast as before and... No idea how it had got there, but my hand was suddenly lying against her cheek and we breathed in. Simultaneously. And...It was kind of all in slow motion and I didn't know if I should kiss her or not or if I should say something and if so what? Neither of us moved and then she smiled again and in my stomach there was such a light feeling like when the plane suddenly sank. Oh fuck. I didn't know what to do anymore. Until she turned back to the screen and showed me the virtual bathroom, with a nice big shower and to distract myself I imagined us both in it...

"Or would you rather have a bathtub?" she asked and looked at me with her big eyes.  
"No, I like showers." Charlotte nodded and looked at the screen and my brain stopped working again and my mouth did all the work. "Unless...you prefer bathtubs." Inside, I was slapping myself, but she said incidental, "I like showers better, too." 

"Fine." I nodded and looked at her, I really didn't know what else to say. I wanted to kiss her and I didn't want to kiss her at the same time. Why didn't I want to kiss her? I couldn't understand myself anymore, but I liked this... vibe between us.  
It kind of prickled. And she felt it too and apparently found it quite arousing, because I saw her nipples pressing hard against the fabric of her dress. So I leaned closer but then I noticed the goose bumps on her arms. Shit, she was cold. I got up and went to my closet, took off a hoodie and gave it to her without a word. 

"Thank you." She looked at me, it was a completely new look on her face. I didn't know, and I took the tablet from her when she put my sweater on, and then something really incredible happened. The hoodie was way too big for her and she looked really enchanting in the big thing but...inside of me, there was this feeling spreading. Warm. It almost hurt and I didn't know, that's really kitschy...but I had the feeling that they belonged together. My hoodie and Charlotte. 

Oh man, what strange thoughts I suddenly had! It was kind of...I don't know, it confused me and I ran my hand through my hair. What should I do with her now? Ah yes, eat. We wanted to go out for dinner. I asked her if she still wanted to go to the Italian restaurant around the corner and she just said, "I can't go to dinner now." "Why not? Are you not feeling well? Are you not hungry? Why can't you eat now?"

Charlotte smiled at my verbal attack and looked down briefly before glancing at me again. 

"Honestly..." she took a deep breath and blushed so incredibly that I was really worried about her "I hate to leave the house..." she cleared her throat and then looked me straight in the eye "without panties." 

Oh, fucking hell. I'd completely forgotten about that. She had to take off her panties because she had...oh man, my blood was rushing in my ears and flowing south, that shouldn't get in the way now, I didn't want to think with my cock, what am I doing, what am I doing? But luckily, she could still think clearly and said sheepishly "Maybe we can eat here?"

"Yeah sure...I can get something" and then I looked at my watch and I said, "but we can wait a few more minutes for Mary to put the kids to bed, then she won't come down for about an hour."  
"All right." Her voice was a little breathless, and we looked at each other. I didn't think either of us remembered what we just said because, she looked at me with this look and the little fold between her eyebrows, and I… I only had one thought left in my head. No panties.

After a while my brain started working again and I listened at the door to see if Mary had gone upstairs with the kids, then we went into the kitchen and I took everything from the fridge and cupboards that I could find and offer her. We ate olives and tomatoes and some bread with vegetable spread. It wasn't much, but I don't think either of us would have made much more if she was feeling anywhere near what I was feeling.  
"What would you do if Mary came downstairs now?" Charlotte suddenly asked and I was a little taken aback at the question, but even more so at my answer. "I don't know... ask if she has any wine left."

Charlotte started laughing and immediately put her hand over her mouth to suppress it. "Would it make you uncomfortable?" I asked her and she shook her head even before I had finished speaking. "Why not?" Why, pray tell, did I ask this question? What did I expect her to answer now? "Well, from the way she spoke of you, I assume she would expect nothing less." She giggled. "Do you think she noticed anything?" She asked me then, and I had to think very carefully what to say, not to give anything away. "Noticed what?" My heart was pounding in my chest. I was all nervous, as if her words would be the all important answer. Charlotte smiled knowingly, as if she could see right through me. "Well, that there's something... between us."

My heart made that strange leap again and I leaned closer automatically. And my voice suddenly had that dark tone again, although I wasn't aroused ...that was new and strange but also it was somehow...good. "And what is this between us?"  
"I don't know..." she smiled this smile that made my heart beat faster and leaned closer with the words, "but I like it... and you."

And then her lips were on mine, and I couldn't think anymore.

Shortly after we cleaned up and went back to my room. I just had no idea what we were supposed to do now. Should I say something? Would she stay the night, or was she worried that I wanted to sleep with her? Man, I wanted to, but of course not if she didn't want to, and of course I wanted to know a bit more about her. She sat cross-legged on my bed and apparently we both suddenly remembered what was under her dress...nothing... and she pulled the dress over her knees and I turned away and thought about what I could offer her.

But she broke this little silence between us and then asked me about my family. "Why do you live with your brother and his family?" she asked me and without a moment's hesitation I told her the circumstances why I lived in our common house and had not already moved out like my other brother. I told her about the problems and hardships of our family, even if the whining was on a high level. At some point I sat next to her on the bed, and at some point we lay on our sides and looked at each other. She told me about herself and her little apartment, her love to dance and create and her family.

At one point she could barely suppress a yawn and I sat up and looked at the clock and was slightly shocked at how long I had been sitting here chatting with her. It was almost half past one in the morning. That had never happened to me before. Talking to a woman for so long. She looked at me with these big eyes and I leaned over to her and gave her a little kiss on the mouth before I got up and picked out the longest t-shirt I had.

Later we lay in bed and talked some more and at some point she snuggled up by my side and I wrapped my arm around her. She was so petite and warm and her luscious bosom squeezed against my ribs. I stroked her back and she stroked my neck. We did that for quite a while without doing anything else. Then I rolled over to my side to feel her beautiful bosom against my chest and started to stroke her back with the other hand. At some point, the t-shirt slid up a little and my hand lay on her hot naked skin.

I avoided going any further down than the beginning of her sweet little ass, but soon realized that the said perfect little ass was apparently longing for my hand. Because every time I let my hand slide down, it was reaching out to my hand. She arched her back like she wanted me to grab her ass and I felt goose bumps. She had started to stroke my back at some point and even though it was an innocent touch and we hadn't even kissed yet, I was well on the way to getting a hard boner again. Especially when she moved her fingers over my sides to my front and up my chest. Charlotte moaned as she ran over my muscles and pushed her leg between mine. Shit, now she would notice that I... oh, she pressed her leg slightly against my cock and I could not help it and moaned throatily. When she started to kiss my neck I stopped thinking twice and grabbed her ass with one hand, the other was trapped under her soft body and I wanted to feel her bosom and pulled the hand carefully towards me.

Charlotte knew what I was going to do and slid on her stomach, but lifted her upper body and I could feel her perfect bosom through my shirt and I just wanted her to take it off. My left hand went back over her perfect little ass and scratched her slightly with my fingernails, she arched her back again and I stroked and grabbed her firm cheeks. Kneaded them, stroked them and ignored them. That got me a nasty look from her and in the semi-darkness of my room I asked her, "Do you like what I'm doing?" My voice was awesome, so dark again! She shivered slightly, and nodded in silence. "What exactly?" "Everything you do."

In the past, not only my ego but also my pants would have burst with pride. But with her it was only a tiny grin, which spread over my face. It was almost embarrassing, but fortunately she had closed her eyes. As she leaned on her elbows and let her head fall forward. I slowly pulled the T-shirt up as far as I could go underneath and, contrary to what I was doing before, as I pushed down her dress, I stroked her bosom very lovingly. At the same time, my other hand went over her ass, down to her legs how wide I could reach. Again and again I did this, while I caressed her bosom with my other hand. Oh I wanted her. But I didn't even dare kiss her. I moved my hand to the inside of her thigh but avoided the place that seemed to long for my hand as well, because every time I did so she opened her legs a little bit more and her breath became faster. 

At some point I couldn't stand it any longer, tore away the blanket and leaned over and kissed her on her bright white little round ass. She hissed, but leaned even closer to me. I slid a little deeper and kissed her bottom and I was especially taken with the part where the ass merges into the leg. She seemed to be ticklish there, she flinched, but on the other side she seemed to like it eerily because she moaned softly. My hand under her body grabbed her bosom a bit tighter and she trembled. I stroked her leg again and as soon as I was back on her thigh, she pushed her hips back and lifted her ass even further towards me. My fingers danced across the warm inside of her thighs and I already had an idea of how aroused she was. I pressed my hard cock into her leg and she wriggled beside me. My hand on her breasts went deeper and in anticipation of what I was going to do she lifted her body from the mattress and at the same time opened her legs even wider for me. Now I had the choice to take the next step with my left or with my right hand. 

But why choose? 

I simultaneously pushed two fingers of my left in her hot wet pussy and my index and middle finger of my right pinch in the small nub. She moaned so violently, I was afraid I had hurt her. She was so tight. I stopped, but remained in her. Only when she moved at and on my hands did I continue and she moaned a few more times before she had herself under control again and kissed me. As always with us it got a little wilder and our kisses became so violent and sloppy that I almost forgot to move my fingers in her, but she reminded me as she moved more wildly on me and moaned my name in this desperate tone, that made me almost come. 

It was all so new. I had never done this before and apparently it was really good, because after a short time my hands were drenched with her slickness and her moaning mixed with my own and she pressed her face into the pillow when she came and I pushed myself behind her and pressed my hardness between her legs. We were just separated from my boxer briefs and I have to say that it itched in my fingers to pull it down and enter her.  
And she also seemed to think about the idea because she grabbed my ass and pressed herself against me so hard that she trembled once again.

"I've never wanted anyone so badly like I want you." I whispered into her ear and she looked at me over her shoulder and nodded slightly. I captured her lips and as we kissed in a mixture of wild and dirty and slow and tender, she turned on her back. I pressed myself on her and she whimpered slightly as I slid down and took her nipple in my mouth and ran my tongue across it frenetically until she whispered my name again in that desperate tone. I wanted to slide deeper and taste her, but she held my face and looked for my gaze.

That meant for me that she did not want it yet. After all, it was the most intimate thing between two people and it was okay. I leaned down, kissed her deeply and pressed myself hard against her. 

We kissed for quite a while until I couldn't stand it anymore and broke away from her.   
"I will... just go..." I pointed towards the bathroom and she nodded with a suppressed grin.

No sooner did I stand in the shower with my cock in my hand, I heard the door open and a second later I felt the cool air on my back but didn’t dare to turn around it was embarrassing, that she would see me like that.

“Let me.” She whispered in my back, before she kissed my wet skin between my shoulders and shoved her hands to my belly and wandered deeper. I moaned as she touched me lightly and began to stroke my hard length with her gentle fingers. I pressed my head against the cold wall of my shower and breathed deeply in. One second later she pulled me on the arm to turn around and I heard her gasping. I opened my eyes and saw hers widen as she saw me for the first time in all my glory. I knew how I looked like and I tried to take away her fear. I couldn’t look away, although I was curious how she looked like, but in her face the emotions run and it fascinated me and I touched her face. She looked me in the eyes and tried to say something but I captured her lips. We kissed slowly and as my mouth wandered over her neck I assured her in this dark voice again “I will be carful.”

She sighed briefly and leaned against me as I said. “When ever you want me.”   
“Thank you.” While she gave me a hand job, she whispered in my ear "I've never wanted anyone so badly like I want you."


	6. untitled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to know why Sidney is like he is...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy your weekend with my little story.  
> have FUN!

"I've never wanted anyone so badly like I want you."

I heard the words that I had said to her and I was both pleased and surprised that we had not done so already. But then I couldn't think much more, except that her tender hand felt incredibly good against my cock and what she did with her other hand on my balls made me gasp for breath. "God, Charlotte!" I heard myself moaning and I had never thought of God or moaned his name so much as I had since I had been together with her. What?? Was... we were together? No. Or I mean... no... since I was... involved with her. 

Damn, that felt good. I didn't want it to be over, although I could already feel the tingling in my spine. And as if she could read my mind, she slowed down. But somehow that made it much...more intense I was really vibrating and couldn't help but reach for her. Not her bosom or her sweet tight little pussy, no, I reached for her head, grabbed her hair and pulled her towards me so hard that she made a strange noise. And instead of us kissing and smooching and our tongues duelling and fighting with each other, we were kissing very softly and...tenderly and my heart was pounding up to my neck and it was pulsing everywhere. 

"Relax." she whispered and kissed my neck. "Come for me, babe." And she didn't have to tell me twice as she stroked me slowly and then grabbed me firmly and sucked on my neck at the same time, I came so hard that I was shaking violently. Fuck I heard myself screaming as if I had mutated into a beast. This had never really happened to me before! Well I mean of course I've come many times, many times violently as well, but this was a different level. It was so… intense. My whole body was burning. It was so embarrassing! But somehow it wasn't. 

She kept stroking me, even though it was over. I only half noticed everything and only felt my legs again when the foam ran down them. She seemed to wash me, what was going on now? Oh man! I stared at her, as I was able to open my eyes again. Charlotte smiled at me. No pretentious 'I gave it to you' smile or that pitiful 'that was over sooner than I thought' no... her smile was so... so warm... in my heart.

Charlotte tilted her head to one side as if wondering why I was staring at her like that, then I pulled her towards me and kissed her cheek. Yes her cheek! Why? I don't know, but she seemed to like it because she kept smiling and then said in a rough voice. "I'm a little cold", immediately, I pushed her under the water stream and turned up the hot water. I got out of the shower, threw on a towel and grabbed the softest one I had and stood in front of the shower door. As soon as she came out, I wrapped her in it without even looking at her properly. But I knew that I would still be able to enjoy it. How did I know that? I don't know, I just knew it. I took her in my arms and rubbed her dry.

Then I pulled her back into the bedroom behind me. After some searching, I found a pair of sports shorts that were miles too big for her, but after all, she could tie it up and tight with the waistband so it wouldn't slip off her. She put on the huge t-shirt again and I have to admit, the sight of her in my clothes did something to me. Again.

"What is it?" she asked somewhat intimidated under my gaze and I just admitted with a grin "My clothes look much better on you." Then she laughed softly and we lay down. As naturally she cuddled up to me and I felt as comfortable as I have felt since...no idea since when. Always? "Thank goodness tomorrow is Saturday," she said and I agreed with her. It was already dawning when I noticed how sleep overcame me.

When I woke up at some point I noticed that I hadn't drawn the curtains and thought about getting up and doing it when I realized where my hands were. One hand was intertwined with hers as she was lying on my arm. Her back was pressed against my chest and I felt incredibly warm, she was like a living breathing oven. But what was not at all ok, and yet somehow funny, my second hand lay possessively around her breast. Although the feeling was intoxicating and somehow...natural, it really didn't feel right. I was ashamed and pulled my hand away, which brought me a protesting sound that resembled a groan.

"I’ll close the curtains."   
"No."   
"But then we can still sleep..."   
"I don't want you to leave" she murmured and in that moment my heart did that strange loop again and I pressed myself against her. I wanted to whisper in her ear that I didn't want her to go either, but I couldn't do that, could I? She would know...and I had sworn to myself that I would never let it happen again...but she was not that person...she was kind and sweet. She wouldn't use it against me, would she? I hardly knew her and yet I was so sure that she was different. Different than E...

"You're thinking too loud," she muttered, interrupting my thoughts. Charlotte turned to me. I was shocked and didn't know what to say or do. She let her hand go under my T-shirt and stroked my back. I noticed that I was getting stiff, and no not there!   
"Relax." She whispered and kissed me beneath my chin. A strange place but somehow... pleasant. "I'm sorry" I croaked, I felt I owed it to her to say something... to confess something. "I hmm, well, I... never usually do that."

"Cuddle or let a woman sleep in your arms?" She giggled into my chest and pushed her arm further around me and I slapped myself on the head mentally, but my mouth worked instead of my brain. "Both."   
Oh man, and this before breakfast! Now she would bombard me with questions about why and how and probably she would call me names, what a nasty guy I am, and run away faster than I can shout 'Wait!' And because just the thought of it was so horrible, I tightened my grip around her. Charlotte was not allowed to leave! Please don't! Wow, shit I am really...not me!   
"Well then you should get used to it." She just said, pressed herself closer to me and stroked my back lovingly. I was amazed. It felt so right and I had gotten away with it...for now.

"So, are you going to tell me about it?" Charlotte asked as we sat in a café in town hours later, enjoying a late but substantial breakfast. We had driven to her place quickly and while I was looking for a parking space, she had run up to her apartment and changed her clothes. Unfortunately, because the dress was really beautiful.

"Hmm?" I played dumb and hoped to gain time, but she just tilted her head, raised her eyebrows and her eyes were piercing so deeply into mine that I knew she would dig out the answer without me having to say anything, but she wouldn't give up so easily.

"Why?"   
"Why what?" I looked at my coffee hoping to find the answer there as she continued.   
"So why don't you cuddle usually? I think you are great at cuddling." she grinned and bit off her croissant.

A short memory of the time when someone else had said something similar and the whole school had laughed at me twitched briefly through my thoughts, but I really didn't want to tell her that. I looked to the side and avoided her look. 

"Hey," she put her hand on mine and stupid as I was I looked back at her face. Man, her eyes were real...like truth drugs.   
"I didn't want to be so nosy, but...I thought if we...well," she cleared her throat then she said with an honest tone in her voice. "You don't have to tell me." But her eyes said something else, so I decided to be honest. "That was never something anyone ever wanted me to do." Astonishment was on her face. "But everybody wants to cuddle with their boyfriend."

Ooh ooh!! She blushed. Boyfriend??? Damn, now she's biting her lip. Boyfriend!? Now she moved her hair behind her ear. Bit into her croissant and avoided my eyes. Boyfriend. I got warm again and I could not suppress a smile. And God, she was so lovely as she desperately looked for a way out. And I gave her one and me in asking "Boyfriend?"   
"Well, I ...sorry if I got it wrong." She disappeared behind that big cup of coffee for a moment and I just decided to get rid of it. "You did." She looked at me with huge eyes.  
"I just had one-night stands or minor affairs in years. Nothing serious."   
"Oh."   
"Yeah, I... I don't know, there's never been one where there's been... you know." God, that was really hard.   
"I understand. You don't cuddle with sex friends." She answered smiling and nodded as if she was fine with it, but I doubt it. And that shy look came back over her face.

"That's true." I admitted and tried to catch her look. "Well, I haven't had a girlfriend for a long time." She just nodded and waited for more. "And I do mean forever."   
"All right." I could see her thinking in her head about what this meant. And I couldn't believe what I did then, but I just couldn't help myself and burst out.   
"Actually, she was my first girlfriend, it was more than twelve years ago, and what she did to me made me who I am today." Now she would jump up and run away. I was sure.   
"Do you want to tell me about it?" I couldn't believe it. Why was she interested? A little tempted, I asked, "What? That I'm a sex god who fucks a different girl every night and doesn't bring home one-night stands?" Her eyes were wide open and her mouth formed a question without sound. That little wrinkle between her eyebrows was there again and I wanted to reach over the table and wipe it away. I felt as if I had hurt her, but I didn’t, I just hurt me.

"Why would you say something like that?" her voice was breathless.   
"Because it is the truth." I shrugged.  
"I don't believe that." I looked at her silently, what did she want from me? "What has she done to you?" 

I turned away as the memories flooded my brain and I froze into a pillar of salt as she put her hand on mine and said calmly. "I am sorry, Sidney. I shouldn’t have asked…. We all have our history. I would like to know yours, but only if you want to tell me." Still I looked at her stunned. "I want to get to know you," and then she added something even shyer "really."

Charlotte successfully tried to distract me. She talked about this and that. Gave me a little stub or even a little kiss in between. But it was me sitting under a tree in the park, who picked up the subject again. Not to share it with her or to get rid of it. No. Actually, I wanted to prove to myself that she, like everyone else, was not really interested in me, but only in the story. I told her. Everything and in detail.

"I was back in school. I had grown over the summer holidays and had been to the gym with my brother. I looked good, I knew and got it often enough when the girls talked about me behind my back. Some found me...cute or good looking or hot. Some might even have been in love with me and if I hadn't been so blind, things might have been different." I moaned but just kept talking. I couldn't look at Charlotte, only stared into the distance. 

I told her about how I had been in love with Eliza for years, how I tried to get her attention even though she was a class above me and was constantly hanging out with even older ones, but this summer I finally had her attention.

"At some point I managed to ask her out and we maybe were together for a week when she told me her parents were not home and I could come over in the evening. My friends and brothers gave me tips that I shouldn't let it go too far and my sister gave me tips on what to do and what not to do. But her parents did not leave and so we postponed our meeting. Except for a little snogging behind the school there was never anything else happening, I thought she was shy, but she just didn't want anyone to see it. After a while, well, you know..." very briefly I looked at Charlotte and she smiled encouragingly at me, "my sister Diana got me flowers and candles, I prepared my room..." Oh man, did I really want to tell her? Yes.   
"But all she did was laughing."   
"She laughed?" Charlotte asked shocked and her voice had taken the tone I felt inside.   
"She meant something like that I should finally get to the point and I tried to remember all the tips from the others and...well. I failed across the line."

But that was not the worst. It can happen, especially the first time. The worst thing was being ridiculed. The laughter.   
"Big dick but nothing else." The looks in the hallway. "The little one was totally overwhelmed". The slogans of the classmates in the shower after sport. "But at least you've seen the hottest chick in school naked - no, he came while she was still fully clothed." Her nasty sayings still echoed in my ears, "Cuddling is so out!" Later I had found out that she had made a bet with her friends that she would have taken my virginity before Christmas, which she had managed to do, but as I had not managed to really satisfy her, she said at every opportunity "You're great at cuddling" and then followed a lecture from her and her girls "Women want to be treated equally and fucked decently."

I drove over my face and then said half-loud "And I've been doing that ever since."   
Charlotte seemed a little shocked, and I kept pushing "No one ever complained again." I grinned sarcastically "Neither about my skills, nor that they've come to short. But that’s it." I shrugged. 

I only noticed that I had become a little cold when she put her warm hand in mine and put her head on my shoulder. It felt good, but I was expecting something like "not all women are like her" or "you have to put it behind you." But at first she didn't say anything but only painted invisible patterns on my skin and then at some point she said, "I'm sorry."   
"No need to be." I said back harshly, it was not my intention to react like that, she hadn't done anything wrong, but it was just the way it was.

"I'm just not made for relationships." So there it was. No boyfriend potential. I got up to leave it was getting dark. But she wasn't frightened off and just said, "Relationships are as individual as the people who have them" she shrugged "It's all about compatibility". I looked at her as she got up. I shook my head and since her hand had felt so good in mine, I interlaced my fingers with hers and honestly said, "Maybe you're right." 

Charlotte smiled this smile what make my heart pump so fast and I knew it. Shit. I mean I knew it before but now I knew IT. I promised myself, to never fall in love again. And I told her that…kind of. "I…I just didn't feel like exposing myself...ever again." I couldn't pronounce the word. It was such a big word. So much meaning. If I told her I would never fall in love again, it would be over. I knew it. She was this kind of girl who wanted that. And I didn't want it to be over and it would be a lie anyway. But I didn't want her to know that. Why always label everything? We could be untitled. I gazed in her direction but she seemed miles away. 

She froze and whispered only "Let's go, right now" and pushed me in the other direction, but there was already a mocking voice. 

"If that isn't that frigid little cunt Charlotte Heywood."


	7. fallin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney learns something about Charlotte, which makes him question himself even more...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really going to call the bad guy James, just to have a little fun with you, but no. His name isn't Edward either.I just didn't want to give the guy too much importance and just gave him some name.

I turned around to the guy. I wanted to introduce him to my fist. What was he thinking talking to her like that?

"Let's go." Charlotte begged and clawed her fingernails into my hand. She walked with quick steps. And it needed no further explanation than that the guy had been badgering her. But he ran after us and blocked our way. "Well, did she let you between her legs?" He asked with a nasty grin and I wanted to punch him in the face. I snorted and pulled Charlotte past the boy, who couldn't be shaken off and walked backwards beside us. "Oh how sweet, you're holding hands...so this is serious then hmm?" He looked at Charlotte and I couldn't take it anymore. I stopped and blocked him, at the same time I pulled Charlotte behind me. I overshot the guy by several inches and rumbled "Step aside."

He raised his hands defensively and teased "Oh my God, a hero!" He laughed and then I noticed his buddy approaching slowly but at a loose distance. "Let's go." Charlotte whispered behind me and pulled me away. The guy seemed to really want one in his stupid grinning face because he wouldn't let go and mocked "If she spreads her legs for you, then you really made it!"   
I boiled. I wanted to see him bleed. "Piss off!" I shouted and we went on with quick steps.

"I just want to warn you, I mean..." He really dared to gawk at Charlotte from top to toe and then cried in a conspiratorial tone, "look at those tits... And then she can't even give you a proper blow job." I stopped and rushed around to him, my body was so tense I could have jumped at him, but his mate had pulled him aside and talked to him.   
"Please can we go?" Charlottes voice was shaking. I turned to her and pulled her into my arms. I was so sorry. I tried to comfort her, but she pushed me away and muttered, "It's all right." and urged me to leave. 

We walked silently out of the park with quick steps and went straight to her flat, which was very close by. We didn't say a word the whole time and my mind was spinning. I was just glad that she hadn't let go of my hand, but was still holding it. She noticed of course how I turned around every few steps to see if the bastard had followed us, but she only said in an unemotional voice.   
"Forget him."

As we climbed up the stairs to her small apartment, I saw that she did not put it away as easily as she pretended. In the light of the staircase, I saw her tense face, although she looked eerily annoyed and not hurt or frightened. Only at her front door did she let go of my hand and I feared that she would now send me home and stood insecurely behind her. But she went into her flat and left the door open for me as if it was a matter of course.  
I followed her, and after she came out of the bathroom where she had apparently washed her face, we went into her tiny kitchen and she placed a beer from the fridge in front of my nose without a word. Her restlessness literally shook out of her and at some point I grabbed her and pulled her wordlessly into my arms. I had the feeling that she sank into me. Her hands clawed into my shirt and she leaned heavily against me. I stroked her hair and tried to give her as much peace and security as I could. I was now in better control than I was in the park.

"Charlotte?" I asked, hoping that she understood all the questions that were flying around in my head. How are you? What did that guy do to you? What did he want? Why did he say those nasty things? Why did he want to hurt you? What happened between you? Why are you so calm? 

"That's a lot of questions," she murmured to my chest. Goddamn it, did I ask all those questions out loud? I was not in control of myself at all! Shit. I could feel her leaning away from me, but I didn't want to let her go. "Sorry."

She shook her head and smiled at me. How could she smile? And I noticed that it was a real smile, not only did her eyes have that look... no...My heart did the double somersault again and it only did that when her smile was like that. Real. And from the inside. I shook my head about my stupid thoughts. 

"What do you need?" I asked and pulled her to one of the chairs so she could sit down. "Nothing." She took a sip of my beer and looked at me silently. "You are very kind." I shook my head, but she just nodded. She moaned and let her gaze wander through her tiny kitchen and then said "Jason is right."

What kind of shit was she talking about? I wanted to protest when she put her hand on my arm and explained in a calm voice. "He and also some others think that just because I… I have big breasts, I’m a sex bomb and know everything about sex, but I didn’t." What? What did she mean by that? No, that couldn't... She grinned shyly and then told me. 

"After my very bad first time...well, I swore to myself..." she ran her hair and I saw her cheeks redden slightly. "Well, I promised myself I'd give me more time for... that." She seemed embarrassed, but she shouldn't be!   
"It's all right, Charlotte." She smiled again and looked me in the eye "I know." She shrugged, I had the feeling she could speak more freely. "Unlike you, I was in a relationship from time to time." 

I nodded encouragingly to her "But after the first time was such a… complete disaster, I just wanted to be one hundred per cent sure to..." she blushed again and looked at her hands. "When I'm sure of my feelings." I nodded, but before I could say anything, she spoke again quickly. "And I need to also have the feeling that the man... likes me too."   
"Of course." I assured her and was so ashamed that I would have liked to disappear into a huge hole. She was so sweet and needed feelings to have sex and I... I was a dirty dog who had sex to not allow any feelings. 

No feelings. No commitment.

"That's why Jason's... mad." Mad was not an expression and I clenched my hands into fists "He blames me for wasting almost six weeks of his precious time and I didn't let him touch me or give him a..." 

"Charlotte." I didn't want her thinking about that guy anymore.

"It’s two years ago....It has no meaning at all.“ She took again a small sip. But it did not look like that. She was concerned or full of memories. I was really worried about her. "All my friends say sex is great and I should just go for it, but..." she looked at me again and took a few deep breaths "But I can only do it, when I'm in love." Her voice had a husky tone and my heart skipped a beat.

Really. That was...intense. I mean, I thought it was wonderful. She is wonderful. But that would mean that she would have to fall in love with me to have sex with me. And... this should better not happen. I was an asshole. A bastard. She deserved better than me. I was incapable. I had given up senseless sex out of boredom, but I had had sex to prove that I could satisfy any woman. But I was not suitable for love. No one had loved me. And I had loved no one... okay maybe back then, yes but I can hardly remember the exact feelings anymore. But they weren't as intense... as it was with… Charlotte. Shit. She must not fall in love with me. No!  
I should make sure it doesn't happen... right?

"He even said that he was in love with me, but I knew it was a lie, he just wanted one thing and ...well."

Charlotte drank another sip of the beer and it burned brightly in my head. I wish I had given this Jason a punch.   
"You're lucky you caught him." I wasn't proud of what I'd done all these years, but I'd never fooled women. They knew where they stood with me. I didn't make false promises or pretend to have feelings that weren't there.   
"Charlotte, I'm so sorry..." What could I say? Fuck. Now I'd have to go, but I didn't want to. I couldn't. I had to make sure she was really well. It was bothering her. He had hurt her. What could I do? What could I do that she could forget him, to really forget these bastards’ words? 

"It's not your fault." Our eyes met and my heart pounded in my temple. "It was different for you." "It was." My voice was very rough.  
"You didn't pretend to have feelings to have sex with the women or...?"  
"I didn't." I looked her in the face to tell her the difference "They were hot for me and I was hot for them and then we had sex. It's that simple."

Charlotte looked at me and nodded, then murmured softly. "Only I am not simple." Suddenly I had a bitter taste in my mouth. She shouldn't think it's wrong what she's doing. "You're just right." I couldn't think of anything else. What else could I say? It was true. She smiled again and stood up. She pulled me by the hand behind her and we went into her small but cosy bedroom. "It would be nice if you stayed," she said in the dark room and I thought she was glad there was no light on so I couldn't see her face, but I heard her insecurity in her voice and in response I pressed myself against her and wrapped my arms around her middle.

Later we lay restlessly breathing in her much too narrow bed, but I didn't really mind because I liked how close she cuddled up to me. I smiled at the irony.

"I meant what I said." She tiredly admitted and I didn't want to annoy her with questions. I was glad that she had calmed down and was apparently well enough to fall asleep with me in her arms. I just said "Okay." and felt her turn her face towards me and give me a little kiss on my mouth and a kiss on the cheek. Light and yet firm. Instead of waiting to see if I would kiss her again, she lay back down and snuggled under my chin. "Thank you for being here.” She whispered and I couldn't give her any more than a tighter grip on her waist. I was all warm. My brain was in overload. What did she mean? 

‘I meant what I said.’

She's not simple? She can only have sex when she's in love? Ooh! Ookayy!? I knew what she said, and the possible meaning behind it crawled slowly up my back in the form of cold fear. "I've never wanted anyone so badly like I want you."   
I stroked her back. Slowly and tenderly. Although it raged inside me. Soon I heard her breath becoming calmer. Her hand lay blazing hot on my chest and her heat slowly seeped into my heart. It was beating so hard and my questions and all the answers were circling around in my head.

Would she change her mind? No. That's not what it sounded like in her kitchen earlier... Oh no. That would mean... no this could not be... After she knew my behaviour all this years and why I did it? Charlotte had… feelings for me? No. I would only hurt her. I was not good for her. I can’t give her what she wants from me. No! Shit. Nononononono!! I am no boyfriend potential! Would she really try? With me? Should I try? No, I've got something wrong! I was sure of it.

Her voice in my head repeated the meaningful sentences she said. “Never wanted anyone so badly like I want you. I can only do it, when I'm in love.” 

What should I do now? 

She hadn't... fallen for me? Like I for her?! No! Why should she? I am not lovable. Was she in love with me? No, she was not allowed to do so. But the only answer I got for the questions I repeated in my head was “I want you, I’m in love.”

Ooh!


	8. cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two spend a nice day. And they both let their thoughts run away with them...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you have a good week..

When I woke up at some point, I had the feeling of cold and jumped up. She wasn't there and for a moment I panicked that she had left me until I remembered that it was her home. I peeled myself out of bed and went to the kitchen where Charlotte prepared breakfast wearing only my t-shirt. A certain warm feeling, which I could not name exactly, flowed through me again. She in my clothes was really...it did something to me and if I allowed myself to think, which I did very briefly, I knew it was not only my affection for her. It was more than just infatuation...I felt like I belonged to her...my heart was beating deeper and my stomach was tingling. I was glad when she greeted me and stopped me from thinking about it any further.

"Hey." She turned to me and smiled this incredible smile and then said she was almost done. I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, washed quickly and then went back. We had a big breakfast and talked about what we wanted to do. Then she went into the bathroom and I called my brother, who had sent hundreds of messages again, one more confused than the other, and forced me to listen to him, although I would have much rather taken a shower with Charlotte.   
He literally talked my ear off, again full of enthusiasm about the opening of one of our small hotels in a few weeks and wanted to hear my opinion about the design of the font for the advertising campaign. There were a few to choose from and it could not wait until tomorrow.

"Oh Tom no..." I moaned as I thought of my sister's design. "You know I don't like that, lovely and sweet." I rolled my eyes, even though he couldn't see me. "For me it must be honest, dominant and strong." Tom giggled and then just said, "Dominant and strong for Sidney!" Apparently, he was taking notes.

"Yeah." We laughed for a moment, as we thought about how our sister would moan annoyed, when we would talk like this in front of her. "Then Arthur's out too?" Tom asked and I said yes. "For me it is." "We can do some more designs." "No, I don't want to wait any longer, I don't understand why we don't just do it!" This constant back and forth annoyed me extremely.  
Then I turned around, I had only now noticed that Charlotte was back in the kitchen and smiled at her. "Tom, I have to go," because she seemed a little...puzzled. Yes, I couldn't believe either, that I was able to occupy myself with anything else but her and hung up without listening to anything more Tom has to say.

"Shall we go?" I asked her and she nodded and when she stood up I pulled her to me and gave her a little kiss. But she seemed to be in a hurry to get away and pulled me into the corridor. We wanted to go to the flea markets to look for little treasures that Charlotte could use in our remodelled home. First we wanted to go to the Vintage & Makers as it closed early, and then to the Camden Market. And it was something very special to see Charlotte in her element. She talked and haggled until she got what she wanted for the price she wanted to spend. In between we ate a small snack and drank lots of coffee.

Then we finally left and after a few steps, I had almost forgotten what we were doing here, because Charlotte just took my breath away. Not only did she look incredibly cute, with her red cheeks and her too big jumper over her washed-out jeans, she was vibrating with energy and I briefly let myself think about what it would be like to go on a journey with her. She would probably drag me from one place to another and with big eyes and euphoria she would suck it all up and wander here and there. I grinned because she was so agile and I could hardly keep up. And I knew that I would like to do that with her. Yes. I shook my head and thought of all the places I would go with her, when suddenly she stood in front of me again with a small chest of drawers under her arm. "For Henry," she said, and I found it somewhat eerie how well she knew my family. My brain drifted away for a moment, but it was really too early for THAT to think and I immediately repressed it again. Speechless I looked at her.

"We can go." she smiled, but somehow it wasn't her real smile. I hoped she hadn't heard the shit Sharon was saying and I didn't want to go into it. After all, this was our day and after what we had been telling each other the last few days, I didn't want to dig any further into the past.

Fully packed we drove back and I asked her if we wanted to go to the small Italian restaurant for an early dinner. She seemed delighted, but she sent me home because she still had a few things to do. I pulled her in my arms and kissed her a bit wild, because we had kissed far too little and I had real symptoms of withdrawal. The little glint in her eyes was now back and made my throat dry, but I immediately shook off the thought of anything other than food. "When should I pick you up?" I asked, but she shook her head.  
"I got the car from the company. I have to go to pick up some stuff in the morning and then have to take it to the office."  
"Ahh." I was a little disappointed because our cosy weekend was over and she had to get up early, but I hoped she was looking forward to it anyway. 

"I look forward to later."

I whispered in this dark voice, which seemed to have a really strong effect on her, because I saw her close her eyes and shudder slightly. I kissed her cheek and the way to her neck and as I kept working my way to her ear, I also got this little desperate whisper of my name and... Ahhh it was… hmm encouraging. But I wasn't going to let it go any further now and pulled away. I opened my eyes just in time to see her swaying in my direction with her eyes closed. And I smiled at her as she opened her eyes and bit her lip.

"So I'll see you later?" she asked and I nodded. But neither of us let go and we kissed very slowly and I could have gone on like this forever if my stupid phone hadn't rung. "It's okay," she said and yet I didn't pick up the phone but kissed her again and when I could finally tear myself away from her, I had the feeling that something was missing. But I also shook off this thought and concentrated on my task. I drove home and after I showered and shaved, I searched Mary's considerable collection for suitable films. She had sorted her old DVDs by genre and so I had an overview of everything that was romantic. I took a picture and looked for the titles on Netflix. I put a bottle of wine in the fridge and checked to see if we still had Charlotte's favourite ice cream in the fridge, not that maybe someone had eaten it during my absence, even though I knew my family was in Sanditon for the weekend.

Before I could tell, Charlotte rang the doorbell more than a quarter too early. Not only that showed me the seriousness of the whole thing, but that she had dressed up rather nicely. She was incredibly beautiful and sexy. When I let my gaze wander over her body, I felt the desire to seduce her. But that was not my plan. I wanted to have a nice and romantic evening with her, without my cock-controlled me taking the lead. I was serious about it and that's why I only kissed her on the cheek as a greeting, which she seemed to like somehow, because she smiled and her eyes glittered.

Although the evening was really nice and the food was really good, I couldn't shake the feeling that Charlotte was nervous. She was constantly tugging at her dress and stroking her hair behind her ear, which lay in soft waves over her shoulders. "You're beautiful," I said.   
And it was true. She reminded me of a 40s Hollywood star, with her beautiful red mouth and the dress tight at the waist, which then turned into a wide skirt. The lace that hid her cleavage emphasised that certain something that she embodied for me. Temptation and restraint. She was literally glowing. And her eyes looked huge. Oh man, I could have looked into those eyes forever. Then she suddenly burst out with a question that clearly showed what was going on in her mind. "When was your last time?" "Charlotte," I didn't want to bring it up, so I took her hand. "Say it." she asked. I closed my eyes for a moment because I didn't want to think of anyone else when I was with her. And even when I wasn't, to be honest. 

"I don't know exactly." I answered honestly, but she tilted her head and her gaze drilled into mine. And came to the realization that it had been a while. "Last summer." I admitted and Charlotte raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "Really!" I replied and she nodded. "It's hard to believe you haven't been involved with anyone in almost a year." She fumbled the napkin in front of her. "I've been involved with two." I said with a grin. When she looked at me, I raised my right hand and then pointed at her. I had expected a laugh, but only got a small grin.

But before we could talk any further, the waiter came and asked if we wanted a dessert, but Charlotte replied instead that we wanted the bill. I was amazed and yet satisfied that she seemed to want to be alone with me. And I also wanted to be alone with her and get these beautiful legs off the stockings she was wearing.

We went back and as soon as we were in the house she pressed herself against me and kissed me wild and determined. And of course I was right there. I mean, who would blame me? She was just gorgeous. So sexy and warm and her scent. Oh, man. In between I had the thought to just let it go on, but at the last moment I pulled back and ran my hand through my hair. I mean, of course I wanted her, but I was determined to get to know her first, and above all I wanted her to tell me when. And basically, today was only our first real date...well, or the second. I asked her if she wanted something to drink and she nodded and disappeared in the bathroom. I adjusted my boner and tried to think about bills, meetings and the tax report to get back on track.

When I came into the room, I almost dropped the bottle of wine and the glasses. She was leaning against the bathroom door and looked like the seduction in flesh. I had to swallow and breathed her name, but was pulled in like a magnet and suddenly I was standing in front of her. I don't know where I had put the wine, but my hands found her hips and slowly moved up her flat stomach to the waist belt that held her stockings. She either intended to kill me slowly or she wanted me.

Oh shit. That wasn't supposed to happen. I moved my hands even more slowly up her body and enclosed her perfect bosom in this sexy bra, which was made of lace and showed her nipples. I couldn't help it. Really I didn't stand a chance. I stroked her and her nipples became hard. She pressed herself against me and within a few moments we were kissing wildly and I pushed her against the door. It seemed that we had suppressed our lust for too long because it was a wild fire that burned everything down. Her hands were everywhere after she had pulled off my shirt. My pants were hanging down by my ankles before I realized she had opened them. She pulled my hands to her hips and I felt that her panties were closed at the sides with two silky ribbons. Madness, she really wanted to kill me! Even before I could think about what to do now, my fingers had opened the bows and she moaned when I touched her wet pussy briefly. She was really horny for me, but I didn't want to take advantage of it and just stroked her a little and tried to get away from her, but she clung to my neck and with the other hand she pulled down my boxer shorts.

"Charlotte!" I said, that wasn't how we were supposed to do it. "I want you." she moaned in my ear before she gnawed at my neck and I couldn't think for a moment. I had lifted her up at some point and her legs, still stocked, were wrapped around my hips. "I didn't want anyone...since…my first time," she whispered and I buried my face in her neck and breathed the scent of her hair. God, how her skin tasted! But what she said then hit me like a punch. "It’s five years." What? Oh.

"Charlotte." I moaned and leaned away from her and slowly let her back down onto the floor. She wanted me. This was confirmation that she was in love with me and yet I didn't want it that way. She deserved better than having her second sex at my bathroom door. I really panicked. I couldn't do it. I'm not the right one. I am a bad man.

"I can't do this." and I turned away from her so quickly that I almost felt dizzy. We then looked at each other and she nodded. I pointed to the bathroom and went in and locked the door. At first I leaned against it. Then I went to the sink and let water run over my head. She had lulled me with her magic, her sex appeal. What I felt for her was so deep and so intense because it completely overwhelmed me. There was no comparison with anything else. She was ready to take this step with me. It was wonderful. She was ready. But I... I wasn't. I should try to explain it to her. Yeah, she'll understand and give me time. I was an idiot. I was in love with her and intimidated by the force with which it had caught me. The feelings and she. Charlotte. 

As soon as I opened the door I guessed what I would get confirmed. She was gone. Damn it. I quickly put on my jeans and slipped on my shirt as I ran out of the house barefoot. Her car was gone and I knew I had to go after her. I ran back to get my keys and drove way too fast and through red lights and faster than I expected I was at her place. I parked and ran up to her flat. I rang the doorbell and knocked, but she didn't answer. I think I was pretty loud and sounded desperate, because at some point the neighbour stuck her head out the door and just said, "She's not here." I looked at the old woman angrily and she looked at me pitifully. "She's has a boyfriend." Yes. I was that boyfriend, damn it! "I think it's something serious, so you better not get your hopes up." she smiled at me and then pointed to her flat. Shit. Something serious. I'd fucked it up because I hadn't talked to her again.

I reached into my trousers and wanted to call her, but I had left my phone at home and moaned. I didn't know her number by memory and so I knocked on the neighbour's door, but she didn't have her number either or didn't want to give it to me. I drove home, grabbed my mobile and called her. It was switched off. After the twentieth time I told her I was an idiot and wanted to explain it to her. I put on shoes and drove back. But she was not there. 

After I had rung her doorbell a few times again, I drove back to my place. I came into the room, the wine and glasses left on my dresser. My pullover was gone, she had probably put it on when she left, because her dress was still hanging in my bathroom. I stared at it and it picked in my eyes. I never usually let that happen. I closed my eyes, sat down on the floor next to the bathroom door and buried my face in my arms.

At some point it dawned outside and after I had a quick pee, I called her again and again. But her mobile was still switched off. I called her office, but they told me that she had an out-of-town appointment with a client. Then I called the candy shop and tried to find her, but of course they didn't know anything. I wrote several messages and tried to explain that I had panicked because I was an idiot.

She didn't call back. She didn't write back. She didn't come back to her flat. 

I felt sick. My stomach had cramped up and I was really feeling nauseous as if I was going to throw up soon. And yet I was empty. I was incredibly cold. I was literally freezing.

I screwed up. She had opened up to me and I had pushed her away. After all she'd been through with guys I was probably the worst. I was such an idiot. I put my face in my hands and rubbed it hard. Shit. What should I do now? 

I left my room and was about to run out of the house when Mary called me into the kitchen. I hadn't even noticed they were back. "What's wrong?" she asked. "Nothing." "But you were about to go out barefoot." she noticed and I stared at my feet for a moment. I went into the hall and put on shoes.   
Mary stood behind me and softly asked. "Sidney, is it Charlotte?" I had no idea how she knew, but I just nodded. "Have you slept with her?" "No!" Curiously, she looked at me. "I really like her and I... uh, screwed up." I was glad Mary didn't ask any more questions and just nodded. "I'll let Tom know you took the day off." I thanked her and left the house.

Again I parked half illegally on the footpath and ran to her flat. I had already redialled her number, but she didn't answer. But maybe it was a good sign as it was no longer off. I rang and listened and I heard something in her flat. Hope grew and my heart pounded in my chest. I knocked. First timidly and softly at first, then louder and louder. At some point I started to call her name. I heard the floor creaking and I had the feeling that she was standing behind the door.

"Charlotte."  
She didn't answer.  
"Please listen to me." again, nothing but silence.  
"Please let me explain."

When I heard the key in the lock, my heart pounded so hard I had to hold on to the doorframe. Slowly she opened the door. And looked at me. Her face was pale and her eyes red and slightly swollen. She had been crying and it was my fault. Shit.

"What do you want from me?"


	9. scared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally they talk...or mostly Sidney

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi.  
> so this is a silent chapter and the next is the last, but IF you like more, I have an idea for a sequel...
> 
> Hope you enjoy it anyway!

At first I could not say anything. I just stared at her. I couldn’t breath. Didn't she know that? I want her. I want everything with her. I want love her.

She waited and since I could only look at her stupidly she pulled a face and then asked quietly.

"Why?" and I didn't know exactly what she meant. Why I was an idiot? Why I had rejected her or why I didn’t say anything? I just looked at her and the urge to pull her into my arms was so strong that my arm started to shake.  
"Why you didn't want me?" her voice barely a whisper and then her gaze dropped to the ground between us.

"I want you." I admitted. Charlotte made a sarcastic remark.  
"Very much. Too much maybe." I told her silently.

Shaking her head, she raised her eyebrows. She didn't believe me! As if she didn't know what she was triggering in me.

"You didn't want to wait any longer and wanted it real and... dominant." What was she talking about? "But then you ditched me."  
"I'm so sorry. I just... wanted to take it slow." I said in a harsh tone, I didn’t know why I talked like that but…yes.  
"I think you don't like lovely and sweet." She gave back in her angry tone. I didn't understand that either, so I tried to catch her look. "What are you talking about?"

"You said this and: "I don't understand why we don't just do it."” I looked at her with an incomprehensible look. "You said on the phone…to your …brother." Then she took a deep breath.

Did she think I was talking about us with him?? "I was talking about work." I smiled at her, hope was growing in me that she would forgive me, but she ignored me.

"Okay." She nodded "But why did you dump me?"

God, her voice almost killed me.

"Please Charlotte." She looked at me. I never wanted to see that look on her face again! What have I done to make her look at me like that? Well, I knew what I'd done, but I was here now. She had to listen to me!! Well, then maybe I should start talking. Again her eyes bored in mine, the door opened just a little bit. As if she wanted to slam it in my face at any moment.

"Forgive me!" I begged. 

Panic gripped me, what was I supposed to do if she didn't forgive me? What the fuck! I knew she had feelings for me. That's why it had hurt her so much when I had pushed her away. That's why she looked at me like that, that's why her eyes filled with tears. She had wanted to take this step with me because she was in love with me! Charlotte had opened herself to me. After all these years she felt like doing it and she wanted to do it with me!! Me! My heart was beating wildly and honestly I was sweating. I would have to face her. I would have to trust her.

"I'm so sorry, I panicked." 

That little wrinkle was there again. A quick glance, and then she seemed to think. "Why?"

"That…that I screw it up!" I stuttered.

Her face perhaps showed something like understanding. She could maybe sympathize with it. 

"And I did." A small smile escaped her.  
"I ran away because it was kind of... too much."

She pulled on the pullover as if she wanted to hide her body even more.  
Oh, fuck, why was that so hard?

"I don't know... and I was...overwhelmed. By you." And by my feelings for you, but this I only said in my head. “Of everything.”

That she could understand, and maybe she also thought about the night in the club, because her cheeks went red. 

"And then you were gone."  
"I thought you don’t…want me. That you don’t like me.”  
"I like you."  
"And because you knew, that I …. I rather left."

Maybe that was the reason why we were so well matched. We had both been treated badly. Both outsiders. We were equal too. We were both hungry for more and were searching for things that we had only found within us. We were longing for understanding and... Love. That was it. Then we got scared and ran away. But not again! I had to tell her how I felt.

"I'm cold since you left." Surprised she turned her head back to me but he nodded. Of course she knew.  
"I feel it deep inside me. In my bones." My voice sounded desperate. But it was like I felt. Her eyes were glued to me as if I had somehow sucked them in, but she didn't say anything.

"When you touch me", I explained in a serious voice, "I burn." What was that cliché shit I was talking about? But it was the truth. I felt it exactly this way. She nodded so shorty I almost didn’t see it.

"I want you. I wanted you from the first moment you smiled at me."

Her gaze dropped to the floor again, her cheeks went even more red and I tried to explain.  
"And I... my desire is not only lust."

Charlotte’s eyes bored into mine then and I stepped a bit closer. "I want to do everything right… with you."

I had no idea what she was thinking, so I just moved another step closer.  
“All this years I didn’t want to give anybody the power over me... to destroy me. And I never thought that anybody could feel anything for me too. I am a bad man.“

“You are not.“ Her stubborn answer made me smile. Charlotte shook her head, took a deep breath and looked at me again.

"I didn't feel that I was worth it. But you make me want it. To do better. To try to be a better man, a better person."

She wiped her face for a moment and looked away shortly.

"Charlotte."

When she heard her name, she made such a strange sound as if she was gasping for air and yet could not breathe. She took a half step to the side and held on to the wall next to the door as if she had no strength left to just stand in the middle of the way. My heart thumbed in my chest as she pushed the door open further. So she let me in. As I stood in front of her, she looked up. This look she gave me really got under my skin. My eyes prickled but I blinked it away. 

"I want you. It. Us." I explained "But most of all that you feel good." I stretched my arm out and stroked her face tenderly. "Only that matters."

Then she smiled. Slowly. Timid. Shy. I closed the door and told her the truth.  
"I was scared to fall in love again."

And I knew she knew what I was about to say. She breathed in deeply and I reached for her. I touched her shoulders and stepped again a bit closer. Damn it. Finally. I could breath again. I looked deep in her eyes, and they made me say it.

"But I did." Wow it was out! I couldn’t believe I said it. Finally.

Charlotte gasped loud for air and I saw tears glittering in her eyes. I wrapped my arms around her body and pulled her so tight I could feel her goose bumps. She wrapped one of her thin arms around my neck and pushed the other against my back, to draw me closer. Her face was pressed against mine. It was so warm everywhere, like I was lying in the sun.

With one hand I stroked her hair and the other was wrapped around her middle, she was so small… And then I kissed her cheek. It tasted salty. She cried silently and the fire blazed in me. Not the lust. The love. 

"I love you."

As answer she clawed her fingers in my shirt and my hair. And my heart made this double somersault and I felt very light. I had to smile. Why had I waited so long? I swallowed and then said it again.

"I love you." and again "I love you."

She giggled quietly at my neck and I bent down, put my arm under her knees and lifted her up.

“And now I will show you how much.”


	10. close to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter they talked, in this not so much...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys,  
> thanks again for your comments and support. i hope you had fun!
> 
> This is the last chapter, but as I said, a sequel is planned

I carried her into her bedroom and she literally clung to me. For a moment I wondered whether we should really do it now, as flustered as we were, but I also had the feeling we would both burst if we didn't finally do it. And I didn't just mean sex, but the intimacy I had been hiding from for years. I wanted to finally get to know it, with Charlotte. And she? Yes, she hadn't had sex in five years and of course I was scared that I would hurt her. But maybe we wouldn't sleep with each other, but only discover each other. I had no idea and no plan. Slowly I put her down on the carpet and wanted to look at her, but she still pressed herself against me, so I embraced her with my arms and buried my face in her hair. I felt her heart beating against my ribs. I slowly stroked her back, assuring her that there was no need to be afraid.   
"We'll only do what you want." She did not answer. "I just want to be close to you."

"Me too." She whispered into my heated skin and my heart pounded. I shook my head slightly as I tried to separate from her but she still held me so tightly. Her breath went fast and I felt she wanted to say something but couldn't. 

I stroked her back again and lightly kissed her neck. Her jaw. Her cheek. She moaned and I let my lips move over her face. At her lips I paused. I wanted her to take the next step. Maybe she needed more time? But no. As soon as we felt our lips close to each other, she pressed hers against mine. Very light. Oh god, that was a feeling! She kissed me very tenderly. I had never experienced that before! I held still and let her do whatever she wanted. Charlotte nibbled my lips. Snapped at them, sucked them gently into her mouth and stroked them with her tongue. The tingling in my chest shot between my legs and I pressed her closer. She gasped for breath and I pushed my tongue into her wet mouth so slowly that it felt like it was the first time. In a way it was. So full of feelings, we stroked our tongues. No wild devouring each other. Feeling. She trembled as I ran my hand down her back and slid under her pullover at her waist. I had to feel her skin. And she mine, because her hand slipped into the collar of my shirt and the other stroked my back. So slowly her fingers crawled over my heated skin that I shivered for a moment. Our lips never left each other and for quite a while I could only think how good she felt and tasted and how well our mouths fitted together. 

At some point we had reached the point where we wanted more. Needed more. Charlotte tugged at my shirt and as we continued kissing she freed my arms from the fabric. Only shortly did I let go of her, if only for a short moment, so she could pull it over my head. Immediately, my arms were wrapped around her again and my lips on hers. My hands moved up and held her head as I deepened the kiss. Damn, I was already hard again. I just couldn't help it. I felt like I was devouring her but I did it slowly and tenderly and she seemed to like it because I heard her panting and felt her fingernails in my back. I felt her tremble and I slowed the kiss even more and stroked her tongue a little more gently now. Suddenly her hands were gone. But I heard rustling as she too freed her arms from the pullover. She pulled on the collar until I had no choice but to let go of her for a moment. I looked at her as she had freed herself from the thing. Her cheeks were deeply red and her lips swollen, moist and pink. 

I grabbed her. And pressed her against me as we kissed again, gentle and yet so full of passion. I almost didn't get any air anymore and loosened myself only shortly to breathe, she made a sound that resembled a growl and Ahhh, if I hadn't been so hard already, I would be now. My cock was pounding in my jeans, but I ignored it and kissed her again. I had never kissed anyone for so long. Never! And I just couldn't stop. I wanted it to never stop and there was nothing else I could do. My body was paralysed, except for my hands stroking her back and face. My fingers found her neck and I just couldn't help drawing little circles there. Then she pulled away from my mouth and gasped for air. I kissed her cheek and felt she was glowing. 

Charlotte laid her head to one side and it was clear to me what she was longing for. I kissed slowly down her neck. Careful to make everything slow and gentle. Until she became very soft in my arms. I had the feeling she was fluid. When I reached her shoulder I sucked her skin firmly into my mouth and she was gasping for air and clawing her nails back into my skin. I raised my head and she moaned. I looked into her face and she seemed enraptured, God I wanted it to be like this forever. She moved closer and offered me her neck to do it again. And what she wanted me to do, I was determined to do and I kissed lightly over the sore spot. Then I licked up to her ear. I could hear her trembling breath. Full of expectation she bored her nails even deeper into my flesh. Then I sucked. And finally I heard her sexy moaning again. Fuck, red-hot desire fulfilled all my body, thinking, everything! 

And somehow it was so much more than usual. Somehow even deeper. I had no words for it. I seized her mouth again, pulled her even closer to me. Charlotte wrapped her arms around my neck and I lifted her up as she stood there. Very slowly I let her slide down along my body. And a path of burning lava ran through me. And my cock, I've never been so hard it really hurt. Charlotte let her hands float over my neck and over my face. She held it tight and pulled me down to her. We continued to kiss and then she slowly stroked my chest. As soon as she touched me I had goose bumps. My nipples were stiff and she slowly stroked them first, then her mouth followed. She nibbled at my neck, kissing her way to my right nipple. There she licked in slow circles around it, playing with it. Then she kissed my chest, but lifted her head and stretched out to me as if she desperately needed one more kiss and the tip of her tongue ran across my lips. I did the same and although we had been kissing for ages, her lips were still as smooth as mirror and delicious.

But now I couldn't control myself any more. Slowly I stroked up her sides, her skin was smooth. My thumbs automatically found their way over her hard little nipples and she moaned. I rubbed my hands over her bosom until she called my name.  
"Sidney please."

I didn't know exactly what she was trying to tell me so I went on and kissed her neck. And while my trained hands opened the fastener on her back, my lips found her perfect little red nipples. I stroked the tip of my tongue over these willing little things until she trembled and fidgeted in my arms.

"Sidn...eeey." she moaned and tugged at my head. I kissed tenderly across her luscious bosom and she clawed her fingernails into my skin again. "Don't tease me!"  
I chuckled into her bosom and squeezed it into my face. My three-day beard scratched the fine skin and the sound she made was a painful groan of lust.

I felt her hands on my jeans and she was pulling on the buttons and my cock was literally bursting out of it and without further ado she pushed my boxers down as well and grabbed me. "Ahhh!" I yelled. I was so over-sensitive that I was about to come. "Charl...oooh." as she stroked me I could not think anymore. At some point I reached for her hand and looked at her for a long time and shook my head.  
She grinned a bit sassy, but I loved it. She let me calm down, and in one quick movement, she wiggled out of her sweatpants and stood in front of me in plain white cotton panties. But I knew in that moment that it was the sexiest thing I had ever seen.

"Fuck!"

I reached for the panties and slowly pushed them over her hips. Then I ran my fingernails over her perfect little ass and pulled her closer to kiss her. But only briefly. I wanted to look at her and took a step back. I let my eyes wander over her and licked my lips involuntarily.

I was about to get down on my knees...well I mean for her...not for THAT, well...maybe one day.. Whaaat? But…anyway…umm she held me tight and looked at me with an intense look. Apparently she didn't like what I was about to do. Not yet. I grinned at the brief thought and kissed her gently.

She bit her lip and looked at me a little intimidated.   
"You're so damn beautiful," I admitted and with both hands I embraced her face and kissed her deeply. Then I let one hand go over her body. When I got to her hot wet pussy, I held back and she moaned as if she was in pain. She pressed her face against my breast. Slowly, oh yes as damn slowly as I could, I let a finger slide through her wet folds. Back and forth, back and forth. 

"You like it?" She nodded at my chest and I very slowly pushed a finger inside her. She moaned. "And this?" I asked as if I didn’t know… I slowly moved my finger in and out. She nodded again and grabbed my cock. She pumped me a few times, but when I put a second finger in her, she couldn't do it any further and I knew she was close. Oh yes, I wanted her to come as often as possible.

I fingered her to her first orgasm without even touching this little knot of nerves and as she sank trembling against me I sat down on her bed and pulled her onto my lap. I just wanted to hold her, but she quickly regained control and began to kiss me. Still warm and soft and slow. My hand went down her stomach. I lovingly stroked the perfectly trimmed little triangle, which was like an arrow pointing to where I wanted to return.

She opened her legs and pulled herself up and I grabbed her hips and helped her straddle me. Charlotte grabbed my face, kissed me deeply and lifted herself up. I took this as an invitation and pushed two fingers inside her. "Ahhh." she moaned and I pumped a little faster but still slowly. "No!" she said, then grabbed my hand and pulled it away off her hot wetness. "I want you for real."

And as if my cock had been waiting for these words, it twitched forward. I could already feel her wet hot pussy at the top and, God, every cell in my body was distorting for her. 

I dug my hands into her hips and stared at her. "Are you..." "Yes, I am." Charlotte grabbed my cock very lightly. And it felt like it was getting even harder. What the fuck was she doing to me?   
"Help me, okay?" she asked very softly and I could have burst into tears! My heart was beating in my chest and the feeling when I put my hand around hers on my cock was pure madness. I led her where she wanted me to be. "Take me, babe." I whispered and her body shook. I wrapped an arm around her so she wouldn't slip off my lap. And my other hand grabbed her hair as she slowly slid a bit on me.

Her body was tense. My heart was racing. My body wanted to be completely buried in her, deep and firm, but I held back, it should be the way she wanted it. Every part of me was hard and tense. I trembled with arousal and desire. Slowly she pushed herself further onto me and let a soft gasp be heard. I kissed her neck. I did not move. Charlotte slid on and I kissed her lips gently. She felt so incredibly good. Hot and so tight. She kept pressing herself against me and a deep groan slipped away from both of us. When she had taken me all in. We both remained frozen without moving. She embraced my neck and lifted herself up again. Then she lowered her body. Slowly and gently, as if we were made of glass. She controlled the tempo. 

Charlotte moved slowly. "Are you okay, babe?" she nodded with her eyes closed and my hand wrapped around her face. Charlotte looked at me and moved hesitantly on me. I grabbed her hips a little tighter and as if she needed that encouragement she moved even more sensually. Her movements became more secure but she kept the slow rhythm. I lost myself in this incredible feeling of being a part of her. 

Our breath went deep and slow. A panting. Our eyes were firmly fixed on each other, we seemed not to have to blink. I did not want to lose sight of her. She was so beautiful. Her cheeks reddened and that deep, veiled look. I drilled my fingers into her soft skin on her hips, because I could hardly stand it any longer. I felt so hot. I was sure she felt that I loved her, when we looked at each other like that. She got that look...and then her body tensed up, she clenched down on me in this wonderfully arousing way and she sank even deeper on me and buried her face on my shoulder. Breathing my name.

"I love you," I said, and stroked her head. She held on to me, but pressed herself so tightly against me that I thought she wanted me to lie down. She kissed me, somewhat unfocused and I had to grin. "Don't stop," she whispered. At first I was paralysed, but then I rolled her on her back without sliding out of her. "I wasn't going to." I whispered into her neck and she moaned with relish. I pushed myself up on one arm so as not to crush her and with the other hand I pushed her leg further open.

"Ahhh." she moaned as I pushed myself deeper inside. "Are you...?" I wanted to know if she was well, but she kissed me passionately. "Don't stop" she begged and then I slowly pulled back and pushed into her as slowly as possible. She clung to me, moaned and tugged, pleaded and groaned. Unable to hold back any longer, I pressed myself even deeper and she screamed out shortly and pushed her head back into her neck. Afraid of hurting her, I remained frozen stiff, and in response she tilted her hips and whispered "more."

And then I gave her more. First I increased my pace just a little bit, then I pushed her leg further and became even faster. Her fingernails clawed into my ass and I speeded up. I slammed into her more and when she made sounds that almost sounded like pain I stopped suddenly. "Charlotte?" “Don't stop, don't stop!" she begged and then I pounded into her and our moans and the clapping of our sweaty bodies filled the room.

We lost us in lust, I moved even faster. Then she cramped and pulled at me with arms and legs. She cried and trembled. And she moaned "Sidney, oh God, oh Sidney..." and I felt my spine tingle. I felt it everywhere. In my little toe, in my dick. In my head. Everything was spinning. I was...dissolved. No longer existent. There was only her. Charlotte. Charlotte. Under me, touching me, around me. Charlotte. Charlotte. She drove me crazy and we moved silently. "I love you so" she breathed in my ear and then a glowing white light enveloped me. “Char…loootte!” I heard myself cry as insanity gnawed at me as I surrendered to the most intense orgasm, which completely overwhelmed me. 

I could not move after she milked me empty. A few brain cells told me that I would crush her, but I could not move. When I could feel my body again, I noticed I was shaking. And not my arms that had always held me upright and as far away as possible from my lovers, no. My whole body quivered. 

A deep groan escaped me as I slowly tried to pull myself out of her warmth. "No," she moaned, "stay." And I had to close my eyes for a moment so as not to let out the tears that formed in my eyes. "I'm crushing you." "I like it," she admitted and her smile caught me with such intensity that I really wasn't prepared for it. I brushed the sweaty hair from her face.

"Sidney?" "Hmm?" I was too overwhelmed to say anything. "You know...?" "What?" I kissed her softly on the lips and then looked at her again. "I love you, too."

A big warm wave crushed me. I swallowed. I felt that I smiled as she touched my face. At that moment I felt happier than I have ever felt in my entire life. 

So that was love? 

Fucking shit! But luckily I had waited to learn about it until I met her.   
Charlotte. Charlotte. My Charlotte.


End file.
